TIME

Seventy-one year old “Annie” suffers from lung cancer. Annie lives with “Sheila”, her partner of thirty-eight years. “ Annie has been on hospice for quite a while. She has had a slow, but steady decline these past months.

Annie is open about her emotions and easily verbalizes how she is feeling. Sheila is more close to the chest with her feelings. Sheila won’t say much when Annie is talking about dying, but her tears will flow easily. She will grab a tissue, dab at her eyes, and stay silent. One can see the pain she is feeling.

This past month, Annie has declined to where she is in bed a lot of her day. She can slowly walk using a walker in the home, although needs someone next to her as she is at risk for falling. Her appetite is way down and each time I visit, I notice that she has lost more weight.

Annie is so weak that, quite often during one of my visits, she will doze off. With Annie sleeping, Sheila is more comfortable sharing her emotions. She will share a sentence or two and then make a joke to ease the anxiety she feels. Our conversation will then turn to other topics for a few moments until, she again, will share how she is emotionally.

Annie and Sheila are protecting each other. Sheila worries about Annie as much as Annie worries about her. During our conversation today, Annie expressed how she is ready to go, but worries that Sheila needs more time. I reinforced to Annie how hospice does follow up for a year afterwards. I told her about our bereavement department and I promised her that I would make sure Sheila will have access to those supports. I added that I was available to make a home visit to give Sheila support if she wished at any time.

Annie and Sheila have a large network of friends, but Sheila may be resistant to call when needed. I encouraged Sheila to reach out to her friends as they will need her as much as she will need them. I have met several of their friends, and know that if Sheila doesn’t reach out, they will come to her. Their support system is that strong. I believe that if one has a good support system, they will be able to handle whatever comes their way.

TIME
　

She’s getting tired of it all.
“Why is it taking so long?”
She’s ready for it all to be over,
but knows her partner needs more time.

She’s been slowly declining for months,
where now she’s in bed a lot of the time.
She’s losing weight as her appetite has waned.
There’s not much joy during the course of her days.

She’s holding on for her partner.
She worries a lot about her.
She knows the pain that will be left behind
and the difficult times that will follow.

They’ve been together for many years.
Their love is intertwined and strong.
It breaks her heart to have to leave,
but she is so ready to go.

She sees the sorrow in her partner’s eyes;
the quiet tears that flow so easily.
She knows she may never be ready to say goodbye,
as there likely will never be
more than enough time.