HEVEN

Part of my responsibility as a hospice social worker is to make two phone calls to the family after a patient dies. The first call is when the death occurs, while the second call is about a month later to give additional support. Many can struggle in the weeks following a death, especially after things have supposedly turned back to “normal”.

I called a mother whose son died about four weeks before. She was coping appropriately as had tremendous support from her family and church community. It was during this conversation when she shared the story about her eight year old granddaughter “Amy“.

I counsel children frequently about grief and loss and am always amazed and impressed by the fact that they just want honest answers to their questions. They are not afraid of the truth. Quite often parents want to protect their children from any pain and feel pressured to shelter them. It is always best to answer children’s questions simply and directly. It is a wonderful opportunity to teach them about loss. So much loss in life in not just a death of a loved one, but also when a best friend moves away, parents divorce, etc. Giving children the tools to deal with future losses is so important in a young one’s life.

Amy’s grasp of her grandmother’s explanation of things was profound. I was surprised at how quickly she understood what her grandmother was telling her and then able to replicate it on paper. One could have easily forgotten how young Amy is, but her misspelling of the word Heaven, was a reminder that, yes, she is only eight years old. Children are often our best teachers.

HEVEN
　

She was angry.
She was mad at God.
“God is not good.
He has taken my uncle away.”

Her grandmother tried to explain.
Whenever she does something wrong;
whenever she gets mad at mom and dad,
they will always love her, no matter what.

She sat down with her crayons and paper.
She made two separate drawings.
One she labeled “Uncle Then, Earth”,
the other, “Uncle Now, Heven”.

On “Uncle Then, Earth” she drew a globe.
She sketched a wheelchair.
She sketched a hospital bed.
Next to he bed, she put a lift.

On “Uncle Now, Heven” she drew God on a throne.
She put stairs leading up to the throne.
She drew Uncle walking up the stairs.
She printed God saying, “Well done.”

An eight year old listening with her heart.
An eight year old teaching us all.
All about life and death,
but mostly all about love.