SIXTH FLOOR

Sixty-eight year old “Carolyn” suffers from lung cancer. Carolyn has been divorced for years, but her two adult children live locally and are very devoted to her. The love the three of them share is so endearing. Carolyn is very social and gregarious. She owned a beautifully decorated colonial home downtown. Her home was three stories and it became difficult for Carolyn to maneuver the stairs.

Carolyn’s two children knew she needed more help and spent time encouraging their mother to move into an independent living retirement community nearby. The independent living section offered meals in the dining room. After many weeks of persuasion, Carolyn reluctantly agreed. She is now struggling with walking, although can slowly ambulate using her walker. She is losing weight and is very weak. Carolyn has days when she cannot get out of bed. Then amazingly the next day, she perks up enough to make it downstairs to the dining room in the facility.

Carolyn is now having more bad days than good days. Her son was visiting yesterday when Carolyn could not get out of bed. She was so weak, she told her son, “I am dying.” That was the first time she mentioned dying to anyone. She is such a strong, determined woman who uses denial to cope. Denial allows one to process reality at their own pace.

The family called me out today to talk about placement in the nursing home section of the retirement community on the sixth floor. They had a lot of questions about finances and how it all would get arranged. Carolyn missed most of the meeting as the hospice home health aide was assisting her in the shower. When she came out, I summarized our conversation, but reinforced that she was the one in control and it would be her decision.

She is at a place where she knows it is something that must be done. Carolyn has been holding on for a long time. She will probably move up to the sixth floor, but not without putting up a fuss. I admire her strength and her determination. She knows the family just wants her to be safe and get the proper care. No doubt she will continue to do things her way and I would be disappointed if she didn’t. Somehow I wouldn’t be surprised if she chose to let go the day before she was to move to the sixth floor.

Addendum: Carolyn died two weeks later; the morning the hospice nurse was coming to tell her that it was time to move to the nursing home section of the facility. The family asked that the hospice nurse inform Carolyn of the need to move, as they felt she would be more receptive than if one of them spoke with her about it. She lived and died her way. Way to go Carolyn!!

SIXTH FLOOR

　
She fights hard to keep on going.
She is determined in her cause.
She hoped this time would never come,
but knew it probably would, one day.

Her inner strength; her determination;
her independence; her forceful soul.
Qualities that make her who she is.
Qualities she holds dear.

She likes living on the third floor.
She is independent, although they prepare her meals.
She resisted moving here from her own home
but has settled in to make it hers.

Now it is time to move again.
To the sixth floor where she’ll get more care.
On her bad days, she knows it’s best,
but then she needs a little more time.

Plans are being made for when it is time.
They are preparing for what likely will be.
She’ll fight it as long as she can,
then will likely end her days
where she never hoped to be.
       On the sixth floor.