CONDOLENCE CALLS

When a patient comes onto hospice, they; along with their loved ones; have been grieving when the illness first started and not when we walk into the door.  A large part of the Social Worker’s role is grief counseling and support.  Many folks feel that there are certain rules they must follow when they grieve.  I will validate their emotions telling them that whatever they are feeling is called normal.   

 

There are such a large variety of emotions that arise when one is grieving.  I share that feel what they need to feel while following activities that help them cope.  Many folks talk with family and friends, while other will exercise or journal.   

 

We give a grieving person permission to feel what they need to feel while guiding them to their support network or activity.  I talk with so many amazing folks.  For many, their words could easily be set to music.

CONDOLENCE CALLS 

 

We grieve more than just death. 

We deeply ache over other losses as well. 

Such as; our best friend moves away; 

or we didn’t get the job we wanted. 

 

After each death in hospice, 

a Social Worker will call the family. 

Wonderfully, the majority are doing well, 

and so gratefully appreciate the call. 

 

I did two back-to-back condolence calls today. 

When I asked how they were coping, 

both deeply touched me  

                    with their amazing words. 

 

His dad died last night at 101 years of age. 

When I asked how he was doing, he lovingly said, 

“We are all doing great.  He had a good, long life. 

He was ready to let go; as yesterday he said, 

                    Don’t worry.  Tell me to go home”. 

 

Her father was in his nineties. 

When I asked how she is managing, she said, 

“I am doing okay.  I am relieved. 

                    He is no longer suffering.” 

 

“It’s been a long run. 

He was tired and ready to go. 

It was a dual suffering, 

but now, he is flying high.” 

 

Bereavement will follow up for 13 months; 

while offering counseling, support groups and more. 

I know they too, will hear deep emotions and grief 

accompanied by beautiful, heartfelt words. 

AGE

“Rodney” was admitted to hospice today.  He was diagnosed with cancer one year ago.  He was treated with a very strong chemotherapy, but his cancer continued to grow and metastasize.  Rodney has been in a recent, dramatic decline.  His last treatment of chemotherapy was two months ago. 

 

He was hospitalized recently where the doctors informed him that there is no further treatment available.  Rodney has accepted his fate and told his family and medical staff, “I want to go home”.  His family so lovingly support him and are focused on allowing him to do things his way.  There is no perfect way, but Rodney’s way.  God bless Rodney and his family.  They are a prime example of unconditional love and support. 

 

 AGE 

 

It can often be a challenge 

to guess someone’s exact age. 

One can be strongly influenced 

by a young; or old personality. 

 

I have met old people in their thirties; 

while enjoying young people in their eighties. 

We are all so influenced by life experiences; 

but then, DNA can be very powerful. 

 

Her son was admitted to hospice today. 

He told his family and the medical staff, 

“I want to go home with comfort care. 

I need my two dogs and my family”. 

 

His family were there by his side 

when we walked into his family room. 

His mother had the most beautiful smile. 

She saw life struggles in a very positive light. 

 

Surprisingly, she came to America 70 years ago. 

I thought she must have been so very young then. 

When she said she was twenty-eight at that time, 

I respectfully inquired, “May I ask how old you are?” 

 

I thought she must be about eighty years of age. 

She looked and acted so young and lively. 

With a laugh she told us her age. 

I shockingly said, “There is no way!” 

 

But yes,  

          she is, ninety-eight 

                              years of age.