I WANT

I have been healthy for most of my life; although have had some medical challenges now and then; like us all.  I knew that my recovery would be slow as was instructed by my physician.  But still, what does “slow” truly mean.  I have been tremendously blessed my entire life by unconditional love and support. 

The best part about being a social worker was the amazing people that I met along with the amazing experiences.  Working in hospice, one heard appreciation and thanks on a daily basis.  We would often get asked, “How can you do hospice?”.  The best part is that we got it back a thousand-fold.

 I met Heidi ten months ago when she came to our hospice to do her MSW internship.  I was her field instructor for five months.  We immediately connected as we talked the same talk and both had the same sarcastic sense of humor.  She is a natural social worker as so actively listens to others and cares so deeply.  

What is amazing is that she lives just around the corner from me.  She is not doing an internship this semester and so we are able to take a 30-minute walk every morning.  She will return to our hospice in 3 months.  Then, we plan on taking late afternoon walks if able. 

 I feel so blessed to have her in my life.  Knowing that I can just talk with her, keeps me going.  Thank you, Heidi, for walking alongside me.  You are my angel!

I WANT
 
 
To prevent my blood pressure from dropping,
my doctor said, “You will be fine, just go slow.”
But then, patience for me, is a hard lesson to learn,
yet I am gradually getting better, with some weakness at times.
 
I want to be able to give back to others again.
I want to share; I want more experience; I want to grow.
I want my normal again and I want it now,
but some days, weakness is my gentle guide.
 
I have counseled patients and families for many years
resulting in great knowledge and experience,
but then, I have moments of not allowing me to be me
and recognizing internally that it is called, “Normal”.
 
I hesitate to share my truth with many
as it is much easier to give; than to receive.
I am so thankful for my tremendous support
with one dear friend who so strongly stands out.
 
We have known each other for only ten months,
but strongly connected when saying, “Hello”.
I am twice her age, but we are so much alike.
We both think and talk the same language.
 
I can speak my truth; my emotions and my fears.
She so accurately hears what I am trying to express.
She will also speak her truth back to me
using words that I so easily knew she heard me.
 
Is there a perfect world or a perfect life?
I just know I would love to have my normal again;
but then, I know that my life now is still perfect for me.
The truest phrase that you will always hear from me is a grateful
                         “Thank you”.