We admitted “Ken”, ninety-five, to hospice this morning. Ken has struggled with his kidneys for quite a while. He was fairly independent one month ago. He has since been in a rapid decline secondary to his kidneys. The doctors recommended dialysis, but Ken strongly answered, “No”.
When the nurse and I arrived, Ken was lying down in his bedroom. We then spoke with his daughter, “Kathy” and other family in the living room. Kathy started to share her father’s medical and family history. I was so shocked at how many deaths this family has endured.
At the end of the visit, we all walked into Ken’s room. He had the greatest sense of humor and would laugh so easily. So many of the patients and their families I meet use humor to cope. I am glad that Ken’s humor helps him cope too. It has to be overwhelming at times. God Bless Ken and his family.
TOO MANY
You could say he has had a full life
as he turned ninety-five last month.
He had been living alone and doing well.
All that changed a few weeks ago.
His kidneys are starting to fail.
He says no to any dialysis.
His granddaughter moved in to help.
So understandable, he hates being dependent.
His humor helps him with life stressors.
He so easily laughs about past losses.
His pain is real and so very deep,
but laughing gets him through another day.
He was married twice and widowed from both.
He had four children; one daughter and 3 sons.
His three sons have all preceded him in death.
In addition, he has also lost a twenty-year-old grandson.
Grief and sadness can be so deep; so profound.
How does one cope with so much loss?
We grieve so individually with each person we have loved
as we have a different relationship with everyone.
He keeps sharing, “I want to just go to sleep;
and then, hopefully, it will all be over.”
If one would ask him, “How much is too many?”
I know he would simply answer,
“Just one.”
