We admitted “Dana”, sixty-four years old, to hospice today. Dana was diagnosed with metastatic Liver Cancer just last summer. She tried chemotherapy, but the side effects were challenging to her. Understandably, she chose to stop all treatment.
This past week, Dana has declined so suddenly. I spoke with her daughter, Ally, offering support while normalizing her emotions and grief. One may think that counseling takes a lot of talking by the therapist, but so often, it is the opposite. Social Workers learn to be where the client is and that is what I did with Ally. I did a lot of guidance with a lot of listening. Simply said, with just a few words.
NO WORDS
She was diagnosed only ten months ago;
liver cancer that has already spread.
She was totally independent last month.
Now, she likely has just hours to a few days at most.
I spoke with her daughter to offer support;
hearing, “Things are happening so quickly.
She has had no food or water for over two days.
She just nods as the words no longer come."
“I am overwhelmed! I don’t know what to do.
I thought she had a lot more time”.
“It takes no energy to hear or feel touch.
Hold her hand while sharing your love”.
“She will let go when the time is right.
She is a mother forever; you are her child.
She will not go until she knows you’re okay.
If you can, give her permission to go
I supported her with a lot of active listening
while validating and normalizing her sorrow.
“There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Feel what you need to feel
while embracing your support.”
She so needed to vent her emotions
as her grief was so sudden and so strong.
I wanted to ease her pain; reduce her sorrow;
but knew it was healthy for her
to process all what’s inside.
There is no perfect consultation to fix things;
as there is nothing that is broken.
So, I know and am simply aware,
“There are no words.”
