GO SLOW

I was diagnosed with Orthostatic Hypotension three weeks ago.  I had been struggling with shortness of breath and lightheadedness for several weeks prior.  Once I received the diagnosis, my doctor gave me instructions regarding the benefit of moving slowly which can prevent those symptoms.

I am, bit by bit, getting stronger, but it is happening very slowly.  I did not know what my future would be or if I could live my life my way again.  Yes, this has definitely changed how I am doing activities, but talking with my doctor today, she most definitely gave me hope.  My emotions are in a much better place.  I have reached out to my support network and updated them, which also gives me peace.  Thank you to my doctor, my family and friends; as I am never alone.

GO SLOW

I have been slowly getting stronger

since being diagnosed one month ago;

resulting in low blood pressure symptoms

from any hardy exertion.

Listening to my doctor and reading research,

the key word to it all is “slow down!”

Slow isn’t a natural movement for me,

so, I continue to say inside, “Go slow”.

I’ve been on blood pressure medication for years,

but due to this condition, I no longer need them.

I take my blood pressure each morning

with the results always being normal.

I have been grieving my future

as truly did not know what it would be;

but talking with my doctor today,

she so actively gave me hope.

“You are a very healthy person

and I see you slowly improving

to live a long and active life.

Just always remember to;

                         Go slow”.

RETIREMENT

 About five weeks ago, I would suddenly become lightheaded, short of breath and weak.  After multiple tests being normal, I was diagnosed with Orthostatic Hypotension.  My blood pressure would suddenly drop after any strong exertion.  My husband and I have done a lot of research, along with guidance from my physician, and I am learning slow and gentle behaviors.  I am slowly getting stronger and able to do a lot more.  

Due to those limitations, I strongly know that I cannot do hospice social work any longer.  I am grieving that loss but know that is my reality.  My focus is on getting stronger and being aware of my new “normal”.  I will then let go and flow to where my journey takes me.  

The staff had a celebration for me today in the office.  Being there today was wonderful.  I was with my co-workers/family.  I felt that before long, I likely may be back in another role.  That is what keeps me going.  

My Blog may not have weekly stories, but I will likely continue to write poetry.   I would love for you to check in now and then.  Thank you for all of your support these past 17 years I have been posting.  It means a lot.

 RETIREMENT

Today was my last day at hospice.

I am now officially retired. 
I thought I would work for many years more,

but the arrow flew directly into my heart.

I was diagnosed with something I never heard of,

but it is a common occurrence among us all.

With any quick exertion, my blood pressure drops

resulting in light headiness and shortness of breath.

There is no cure or treatment but knowing how to go slow.

It’s best to walk slowly, rise from a chair gradually and be gentle.

I am getting stronger daily following these guidelines.

Once I know my new baseline, I will let go and allow my journey to flow.

Hospice had a celebration party for me today

which totally melted my heart.

Hearing how I was a mentor, a hugger, and a teacher.

All said with sadness as not wanting me to go.

I know I made a difference at hospice;

to the patients, to the families, and staff alike.

I know that I will never be ready

to ever completely give any of that up.

I may have officially retired, but I am not, quite yet, done.

So strongly, I believe, from deep within my heart,

I may volunteer or help hospice in some other way as

                         I know that, before long, 

                                                  I will be back.