HIS NEED

 “Blake”, fifty-nine years old, has been hospitalized for several days.  Blake has a long history of meth abuse which has strongly impacted his health.  He now suffers from hepatitis and congested heart failure.  The hospital doctor made a referral to our hospice.  Blake had been living in a shelter.  Our hospice runs a shelter for homeless who are terminal.  Due to Joshua’s House policy, hospice staff need to meet with the patient prior to the admission to our program to see if he does meet the terminal prognosis. 

 

I met Blake at the hospital this afternoon.  He was interested in hospice and Joshua’s House, but his main concern throughout the conversation was about food.  Being homeless, I am sure that was a high priority.  He knew what he needed and when getting that, he was happy.  His life now is simple and in such a way which helps him cope. 

HIS NEED 

 

He had a job, a family, and a home. 

Unfortunately, his need switched to meth. 

He abused it for years and now has 

hepatitis and congested heart failure. 

 

He has burned bridges with his family. 

Only one daughter stays in touch. 

He has no income; he has no home. 

His needs are aplenty more. 

 

He is now terminal with likely months to live. 

I spoke to him about hospice and Joshua’s House; 

a shelter we run for homeless who are terminal. 

His only question about it was, “Do they have food there?” 

 

He has no fears or concerns as says 

“Nobody knows when one is going to die”. 

A nurse walked in during out conversation; 

he quickly interrupted, “Can I have two ice creams?” 

 

When I asked him about how we can help, 

he struggled with how to respond; 

then strongly replied, “Talk to my daughter. 

She makes all my decisions for me”. 

 

Like most of us, he has come from a place with many needs. 

If we asked him to tell us about his current wants; 

we will likely hear only one word; 

and somehow, I know, that word would simply be 

                                    “Food!” 

 

WHY?

“John”, forty-four years old, was hospitalized when he was diagnosed with bile duct cancer only two months ago.   He was then informed that it had already metastasized.  The doctors spoke about running tests, but there weren’t many available options for treatment.   

 

John is realistic and chose not to undergo any further treatment or tests.  He told his wife, “Annie”, “I want to go home and be comfortable with our family nearby.  John has been married for fifteen years.  They have two young children; ages ten and eight.   

 

Many questions arose during my conversation with Annie. The majority were logical questions, although we did talk about grief/loss and techniques that can support children.  I am so glad that hospice’s bereavement department does follow up for thirteen months or more, if needed.  May God bless this family.   

WHY? 

 

He was completely healthy 

until just two months ago. 

Now, he is bedridden, not eating 

and way too weak to do anything. 

 

I called her to check in and give support. 

When asked how she is coping, I then heard; 

“This is the worst experience  

I have ever had in my entire life!” 

 

I replied, “I can only imagine; but then I can’t”. 

She then giggled a bit and said, “Thankfully”. 

“How do I explain things to my two young kids?” 

I spoke about children’s grief and what is available 

to give both of them their much-needed support. 

 

“Why is this happening; he is way too young? 

He didn’t smoke, drink or eat many sweets. 

He exercised and watched his diet. 

This is so not fair to him or to us.” 

 

I totally validated her words and questions. 

I replied, “We are logical beings and want an account, 

but there is so answer; there is no justification at all. 

It is okay to feel you want to fix it and make it go away. 

                         This is all called “normal”. 

 

She is realistic and gave him permission to go, 

but did cry appropriately throughout our talk. 

In the back of each of our minds though,  

we will likely again ask the same question; 

                         “Why?”