THE BEST GIFT

After a death in hospice, the assigned Social Worker will call the family to offer condolences and support.   We counsel on their grief, normalizing and validating how they feel.   There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  I have worked with caregivers my entire career.  So many are surprised when I ask them, “And how are you doing”?  The focus, understandably, is on the patient and how they are coping with their illness. 

I called “Gene” this morning to check in with him and on how he was coping with it all.  His wife was on our hospice for only two days.  The last month was difficult for he and his wife as she declined rapidly. 

Not to take away anything on how the patient is struggling or suffering, caregivers are also struggling and suffering.   They, also, need support.  I hoped my conversation with Gene was supportive and helpful.  One wonderful support is that our hospice bereavement department will follow up for 13 months.  I hope Gene reaches out for the support that is available.  It is now his time to heal too.

THE BEST GIFT 

 

She has been sick for many years,

but recently things have gotten worse.

She is no longer eating or drinking fluids;

while now sleeping most of the day.

 

He knew her time was close,

but it was so hard to let her go.

He wanted to help her; to ease her pain.

But, like most of us, he didn’t know how.

 

He was sitting quietly by her side late last night.

He gave comfort by holding her hand.

She opened her eyes for about “five seconds”,

then closed them to gently let go. 

 

I spoke with him today offering condolences and support.

He told me about the moment she died, while adding,

“I am spinning;

                    I have anxiety over it all”.

 

I softly told him, “You gave each other your true hearts

while giving her permission to quietly let go.

You allowed her to leave when it was her time.

She knew it was that moment for her to go.”

 

Losing someone you love is not easy at all.

We so often want to fix things to ease their pain.

I hope he will come to know what he gave her;

the best gift of all;

                    Unconditional Love.