The hospice
nurse and I went out to admit “Danny” to hospice. Danny is married to his wife, “Rhonda” for
over fifty years. They have two daughters. Danny was working until about eight months
ago when he developed stomach problems and pain. He had to go on disability. He went through multiple medical tests with
no clear answer as to what it could be.
Then, three months ago, he was told, “It is Colon Cancer.” He underwent chemotherapy to no avail. He had his last chemotherapy one week
ago. It was then he told his family, “No
more treatment.”
COPING
He has
always taken care of his family.
They forever
and always do come first.
Now with a
three-month old cancer diagnosis;
that support
is much more vital to him.
His wife has
some health problems too.
Their
daughter takes care of both of them.
She has some
anxiety; some appropriate stress;
wanting to
help her parents the best she can.
Dad has
recently, dramatically declined.
He is now so
terribly weak; so tired.
He is
bedridden and no longer eating.
He is
sleeping all of the time.
The other
day, he told his daughter,
“Let me go;
I am done trying; I want this to end.”
Then quietly
to his father who has died before,
“Make
room. I am ready to come.”
His coping
style is facing reality head on.
His grief
and emotions run appropriately deep.
She will use
sarcastic humor to cope.
It always
has helped her through difficult times.
At one point
I asked her, “How are you doing?”
Her response
made me laugh so hard.
She is doing
what she needs to do
to help her
get through this really hard time.
“I am
tough!”
Then
pointing to her left hip added,
“This is my
tough bitch button.
Don’t touch it!”
Coping comes
in all shapes and sizes.
It never is
totally right or totally wrong.
I am glad
that both of them did find
the best way
to cope that works for them. Marilou
Rennie July 14, 2023
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