HE IS SURVIVING

We admitted “Cathy”, seventy years old, to hospice three days ago.  Cathy lives with her husband, “Mitch”, who is her caregiver.  Mitch is continually by Cathy’s side to help in any way that arises.   Mitch has a strong personality and deeply shared his stories regarding Cathy’s diagnosis and disease process. 

He strongly believes that any crisis or challenging event that occurs, there is always an answer to solve any event.  He is a very practical man with a thought process that will always search for a tangible answer. 

Cathy died only hours after we admitted her to hospice.  As Cathy took her last breath, Mitch called 911.   When I heard about her death and he calling the paramedics, I had concerns on how he was coping.

 He totally surprised me when I spoke to him today.  He continues to follow his rules.  I feel that he strongly believes in their value.  This is the second time Mitch has been widowed.   He is coping the best way he knows, but I have concerns, that maybe not next week or next year, his emotions of sadness may fully roar, as he is stuffing his emotions down deep inside.  I wish him the best, though, as he definitely is a survivor.

HE IS SURVIVING

 

We admitted her on a Friday.

In the wee hours of Saturday morning,

while holding onto his hand,

                  she took her last breath.

 

We ask the same question at every admission,

“Are you okay not calling 911, but hospice?”

He, like most everyone, gives us a comfortable, “Yes”.

But, he panicked and called the paramedics.

 

They put her on the floor and did CPR.

After twenty minutes, he was told,

“We cannot help her anymore.”

He quickly answered, “Then do stop.”

 

I spoke with him today to offer condolences.

When asked how he is doing, he replied,

“I am optimistic; I am positive; I get rid of sad feelings.

I have to remain upbeat.  I erase my sad image.”

 

“It was not traumatic at all.

She had a very calm death.

She is running around now.

                    She is golden”.

 

I spoke about the emotions of grief.

How sadness can often play a large part.

It is so healthy to process all of the emotions that arise;

                    whatever they may be.

 

He will cope his way by following his rules.

He sees it helping him along his way.

Losing someone is never an easy experience,

but for him, I can say with certainty,

                    He is surviving.