TO LET GO

“Theresa,” sixty-eight years old, was diagnosed with leukemia ten years ago.  She went through radiation and chemotherapy at that time.  Over the past ten years, she had been managing quite well.  All that changed about four weeks ago.  Her cancer returned with vengeance.  Five days ago, she was hospitalized due to slurred words and confusion. 

She was discharged home today from the hospital.  It was then when we were called.  Theresa is now bedridden, eating and drinking very little and sleeping most of the time.  She is very frail due to extreme weakness.  

The hospice nurse and I met with the patient’s husband, “Jim”, and several other family members in the kitchen.  We explained hospice support and philosophy.  The patient wasn’t involved as she was asleep in the hospital bed in a spare bedroom.  When Jim, the hospice nurse and I walked into her room, she was awake.  After I introduced myself, she immediately started talking to me.  I felt that we spiritually connected as the conversation was so focused on just the two of us. 

She has such amazing insight while wanting my truth.   There really aren’t many clear answers when asking questions about dying.  Theresa words expressed her beautiful soul.  In the end, maybe that is what it is all about.

TO LET GO 

 

I have made a lot of condolence calls

during the course of my hospice career.

I offer comfort and support to the family

as grief is mighty and remarkably strong.

 

I am not surprised when I hear;

“He left at the perfect time.

She knew the best time to let go.

He waited for our anniversary to come.”

 

He came onto hospice in the summer.

He wanted to live to the next calendar year

as his wife’s benefits would be so much more.

Surprisingly to us, he died four hours into the new year.

 

He wanted to be by his son’s side

when it was his time to say “Goodbye”.

He sat by the hospital bed giving him permission to go.

Ten minutes later he was gone.

 

She was diagnosed ten years ago

while managing quite well;

although this past month has been difficult,

as her disease is now in control.

 

She is aware at times with some confusion,

while not eating or drinking much at all.

She is bedridden due to extreme weakness.

It likely won’t be much too long.

 

She said to me, “I am getting ready to die”.

I then asked, “How is it that you know?”

Which brought her question,

“Do you know when it will be?”

 

“When your time is near, you will clearly know”.                             

At the perfect time, be it day or be it night,

you will deeply be aware, that this is my time;

my sacred time; my hallowed time;

               to just simply let go.