NORMAL

Grief is a powerful emotion.  It is tremendously deep and never easy to ignore.  Each one of us grieves differently from others.  We also grieve differently with each loss.  We immediately think of death when thinking about what folks are grieving about.  There are other losses besides death that we all do experience.  For example, our best friend moves away; a parent’s divorce, the selling of your childhood home. 

Emotions quite often come unexpectantly.  So many think that there is a “normal” or correct way to grieve.  Quite often, patients and families feel they are doing it all wrong.  I will share with them, “There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Feel what you need to feel and know it is called “normal” and then, process it in a way that works for you.”  That, also, is such a personalized emotion for each of us. 

I believe grief would be so much easier if we had a ten-step listing of what steps to take.  Unfortunately, there is no such guideline.  I meet so many amazing people during the course of my work day.  I am never surprised, but then also, have a sense of admiration when experiencing one of those moments.  They do come frequently.  So, is that normal?  I don’t think normal can really be defined as we are all individuals and are feelings are just as individual and personal. 

Maybe normal is to be where you are, without hurting anyone.  Feel what you need to feel; accept it; find your supports and move on.  Supports are often family and friends, but also for some; gardening, journaling, reaching out…..   I so believe all of this, although personalized, is one hundred percent normal for each of us.

NORMAL

 

What is normal?

Can it be clearly defined?

We hear words like regular or standard.

What do those words really mean?

 

I meet so many wonderful patients;

so many remarkable families;

whereby, I am seldom surprised

as all are grieving such an amazing loss.

 

But then, each person is so different

regarding their feelings of such a profound loss.

Emotions run so deep; they are so powerful;

almost impossible to ignore.

 

She is almost ninety years old.

She’s been independent for all those years.

But now, her heart is wearing out;

impacting her tremendously.

 

She has accepted her situation as clearly said,

“I am ready to let go.

I’ve had a very good life.

               I know my family will be okay”.

 

I am not astounded by her words,

while I so admire her strength.

She touches me deeply,

               but then, I am not at all surprised.

 

Is this normal?

Yes, to her,

               it truly is.