TWO MEN AWAKE

The hospice nurse and I admitted two elderly gentlemen to hospice today. There were several similarities between these two families. Both men suffer from end stage cardiac disease, have family close by to help and the wife is the primary caregiver. In addition, both men do most of their sleeping during the daylight hours.

“Nick”, eighty-eight, was just discharged from the hospital after a five day stay. He came home on oxygen as was easily short of breath with any exertion. Nick’s wife, “Melanie”, is fifteen years younger than him, is in good health and physically able to manage Nick’s higher level of need. Although, during the visit, she was so exhausted, saying she hadn’t had much sleep for several days.

Nick gets anxious once the sun goes down as it is a reminder that nighttime is coming and he will, as his usual, struggle to get to sleep. Nick dozes off for a few hours and then wakes up for several more hours and then dozes off again. Melanie says that any sleeping medication they have tried doesn’t work at all. She is hoping hospice has an answer for her.

The second visit of the day was with “Cliff” and his wife, “Jan”. Cliff is able to ambulate slowly using a cane, but has had some recent falls and cannot be left alone. Cliff and Jan are both eighty years old, although Jan looks so much younger than her stated age. She and Cliff had been extremely active their entire life. While Cliff’s energy has subsided, Jan still has a lot of get-up-and-go.

Both Jan and Cliff take life as it comes without much worry. Cliff has no fears about dying saying, “When it is my time, I will go readily to see Jesus”. The couple are both very direct and matter-of-fact. Jan, too, shared Cliff’s challenging sleeping pattern of being awake at night and asleep during most of the day. She described it so perfectly. I told Jan that I was going to borrow (steal) her phrase as it was so well expressed.

One doesn’t realize the impact of being a caregiver until they have personal experience doing it. When the patient does not allow the caregiver to get enough sleep, that job is a thousand fold more difficult. I know that when it is a caregiver’s time to cross over, they will jump to the head of the line. I am so humbled and grateful for all the caregivers out there for the selfless and amazing work that they do.


TWO MEN AWAKE
　

“Sundowners” is a term we often hear
when one is elderly, sick or confused.
One struggles with sleeping at night,
triggering drowsiness during the day.

Caregivers strive to keep up
as their body clock is in a different zone.
The world’s activities are in the daylight hours
while most things slow down and stop at night.

He’s been home only a few days.
He gets anxious once the sun goes down.
He worries about not being able to sleep,
which keeps him awake for hours.

She wants to be able to care for him,
but is getting exhausted needing her own sleep.
She’s trying to keep him awake during the day,
hoping a nighttime sleeping pill might help.

He, on the other hand, is awake most of the night,
falling asleep right before dawn.
He arises early afternoon
ready to face his day.

She told us about his sleeping habits.
He, too, is struggling during the night.
She was able to describe it so perfectly saying,
“He sleeps most of the day
             and then he naps at night.”