PRAYING

“Ken”, forty-eight, was hospitalized four days ago due to confusion and weakness. Ken suffers from liver and kidney failure. Ken has been divorced for years and has no children. Ken is close to his mother and siblings, who all are nearby and supportive to him.

Ken lives on one of two homes on his mother’s sixteen acres. His mother, “Alice”, lives in the other home. The doctor told Ken and Alice yesterday that there is nothing more to be done. Alice shared that she heard the doctor say, “He is dying. Take him home.” No matter how gently or kindly the doctor said it, I am sure that as a mother, Alice only heard the word, “dying”.

Alice has been a Seventh Day Adventist her entire life. She said that between 1-2AM this morning, she prayed to let her son live. She said that when she came to the hospital this morning and saw Ken, he was much more alert. She knows her prayers were answered as Ken said he started to feel better between 1-2AM.

Both Ken and Alice will fluctuate between “I am dying vs. I am living”. Ken wants hospice, but doesn’t believe he is dying. Alice wants to respect Ken’s decision for CPR, but then feels he needs to come home and let nature run its natural course.

None of us know how we would feel in any situation until we are faced with that situation. Denial is a huge part of the grieving process. It lets one cope using baby steps. The doctor’s news yesterday came so unexpected to Ken and Alice. The grieving process can be such an up and down, roller coaster ride. Hopefully time and prayer will help Ken and Alice through these upcoming days and weeks in order for them to each find their peace.


PRAYING

　
She’s been faithful all of her life.
Her strong beliefs have always saved her.
When tough times come her way,
she will always turn to prayer.

Yesterday, they were told he was terminal.
The last thing they expected to hear.
His kidneys and liver are failing.
There is no more to be done.

She prayed to God early this morning.
She prayed to let him live.
She knows her prayers were answered
as today he is much more alert.

Confusion impairs his judgment,
although he knows what’s going on.
He wants hospice and readily signed on,
adding, “It’s not my time to die.”

She agrees with him having CPR,
although knows it would be futile.
No more hospitalizations, no life supports.
Let him die a natural death at home.

She’s being a loving mother.
She wants her son to live.
Up and down, back and forth;
conflicted between grueling choices.

She prayed to God this morning.
She’ll pray to him again.
I pray her faith will sustain her
as she slowly learns to let him go.