A FIGHTER

“Josie, fifty-five was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago. Her cancer has now spread to her brain. Josie lives with her fourth husband, “James”. Josie has a daughter from a previous marriage who will be visiting in a few days. Her daughter lives in another state and will be staying for a few weeks to help out and support her mother.

Josie’s doctor made a hospice referral as Josie’s treatments were no longer working. Josie was having intravenous treatments. Hospice’s philosophy is not curative, but comfort care. The hospice nurse and I went out to meet Josie and James. We wanted to inform Josie and James about our program as well as assess if they were ready to come onto hospice. We knew Josie had intravenous fluids today, but did not know if she had planned on continuing that treatment.

While the nurse and I sat in Josie and James living room, we discussed the hospice program. I asked Josie if she wanted full treatment or if she wanted nature to take its natural course. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. We want to support Josie with any decision she needs to make.

I was explaining “Full Code”, (having everything done to keep one alive) versus “Do Not Resuscitate” (letting the disease take its natural course). Josie paused in thought for a moment and said that the treatment’s effects were only lasting for one day. She then suddenly burst into tears, collapsed into her husband’s arms” and told him that she was tired of fighting. He held her so lovingly and said he understood. You could see that both of their hearts were breaking.

I felt so humbled and honored to have witnessed such an intimate and loving moment. Afterwards I commended Josie on speaking her truth to James. Most people are not able to be so direct with their emotions. I told her that it will help James to know what she wants.

This is a perfect example of why I do what I do. I am so blessed every day in my work. I will continue to do this amazing work until I can’t. Families and patients do the hard work, we don’t. It is truly an honor to walk along side of them.


A FIGHTER
　

She’s struggled through life.
Times have been rough.
Addictions, divorces, poverty.
Tremendous burdens to overcome.

In her forties, she met her soul mate.
They’ve been together eleven years.
You can see the sparkle in both their eyes;
their devotion to the other.

Five years ago her cancer struck.
She fought it as best as she could.
The cancer now has spread to her brain.
Pain and nausea, her daily companions.

We asked her about her treatment.
She said that today was the last.
It is no longer working for her.
A sudden realization of what was to come.

She needed to tell him.
She needed him to understand.
It was time for her to let go.
She collapsed in his arms and cried.

“I am tired. I am ready.
         I can’t do this anymore.
                  I am done. I am so sorry”.

A fighter.