HEART

“Barb”, seventy-eight, suffers from end stage cardiac disease. Barb lives with, “Jim“, her husband of forty years. Barb was discharged home today after a month hospital stay. The doctors were treating her heart disease to no avail. Barb finally told her doctors that she’s had enough and wanted to go home.

The nurse and I went out today to admit Barb to hospice. Barb was lying in her hospital bed in the living room. Jim answered the door and then quickly returned to Barb’s side. He was fussing around adjusting her pillows and blankets. He was so concerned that she wasn’t comfortable.

Jim was so worried about Barb. The minute we walked in, Jim wanted the nurse to check Barb out to make sure she was okay. I went and sat in the kitchen with Barb’s two daughters from a previous marriage. I discussed hospice and the support we can offer to families. Both daughters live nearby and visit daily. Barb’s sister is also visiting from out of town and will be staying for several more days. There is a lot of family support.

After about thirty minutes, Jim did come to the kitchen table and sit down with us. I was then able to quickly explain our program and have him sign paperwork. He said he only wanted the short version as he didn’t want to spend much time not being with Barb.

Men like to fix things because they are good at it. Often men will grieve by doing tasks like tinkering with the car, gardening, jogging etc. Jim may be afraid to show any emotion as he fears he will lose total control. All Jim can think to do is to fix things for Barb. That is what he knows.

Jim is so devoted to Barb. He would give up his life for her. He will do whatever he has to do to help her. His love is that strong. It appears Barb likely has only weeks to live. Hopefully, with his family and hospice’s help, he can have the support he needs to get through this difficult time.

HEART

His heart is breaking. 
He doesn’t know what to do.
Any wish she wants is not too big.
He’ll do whatever it takes for her.

She mentioned some food.
He quickly ran to the store.
She seemed uncomfortable;
he rearranged her covers.

He has to keep busy; to keep moving.
He can’t seem to quite slow down.
He’s like an anxious hummingbird;
fluttering all around.

She is just home from a long hospital stay.
Her heart disease is now end stage.
She had all the tests and treatments.
There is nothing more to be done.

He is so angry at the doctors
as they didn’t listen to him.
He has a solution he knows would work.
“Take my heart and give it to her.”

His heart is breaking.
He doesn’t know what to do.
Any wish she wants is not too big.
He’ll do whatever it takes
       for her.