ALMOST A YEAR

Later this week, it will have been a year that I was admitted into the hospital for a ruptured appendix. While in the emergency room, I had an “out-of-body” experience. I almost died that day, but felt it wasn’t my time while standing outside heaven’s gate. The entire experience of being in the hospital 19 days and fully recovering from such a critical diagnosis, while getting a peek of the other side, has been life changing.

Feeling the love of so many is what has stayed with me. I have always had so many that I care about and have known that so many care back to me as well. But living the reality of that support has reached another amazing level. This experience has brought up so many questions with no answers for me. Why did I experience this? What do I need to do with this?

I have always been one to follow my heart and have been sharing my incredible story when it felt right to do so. I have had so many remarkable experiences with sharing my story. I have come to terms that likely I don’t need to know why or what to do with it. I feel that the story needs to be shared. I trust that feeling, so that is what I do.

The hospice nurse and I went to the same hospital today to admit a new patient to our service. While walking into the hospital and experiencing the familiar environment, memories came flooding back. I have such mixed emotions of amazement, blessings and astonishment. That experience was one of the toughest things I have ever had to go through, but the love and support is what stays with me. It might be what others with Post Traumatic Stress Disease (PTSD) experience, although I feel I have PTBD, (Post Traumatic Blessed Disease).

I feel blessed to have had this experience even with all of the fear and pain. I wouldn’t change a thing. It has changed my life in so many amazing ways. I thank God each and every day for stretching me to a higher awakening.


ALMOST A YEAR

It has been almost a year
since I saw the other side.
Fall was in the air,
when God blessed me with divine.  

It’s been an amazing year.
Sharing my story with so many.
Trying to comfort with my experience.
Needing to enlighten and reveal.

I still am trying to process things,
while attempting to stay in the flow. 
Sharing the story when my heart directs.
Not knowing what else to do with it all.

I walked those same hospital halls today.
The first time in almost a year.
All the emotions have flooded back;
the amazement; the blessings; the fears.

I am still not sure why I got a small peak;
a glimpse of the other side.
Maybe one day I will understand,
but for now, I will continue to share,
as that’s all that I know,
         like I have been doing
                for almost a year.