HE'LL LAUGH

“Ray”, fifty-seven years old, suffers from bladder cancer that has spread to his lungs and lymph nodes. He has had health problems his entire life. When he was six years old, he was run over by a truck which resulted in a lifelong back problem. Ray went on disability ten years ago due to that back injury.

Ray has been married to “Toni” for thirty years. They have three adult children, who all live nearby. Toni works part time as an attendant for an elderly woman. She gets minimum wage for her effort. The couple struggle with finances due to their limited monthly income.

Ray was admitted to hospice as his treatments were no longer working. His cancer had metastasized to where there was an obvious tumor on his face and hand. Ray is always in a good mood and laughs so easily. He will talk honestly about the pain of the two tumors. The next thing you know, he is telling you a silly joke or story and then he’ll laugh.

Ray does worry about Toni as he feels she is the one carrying the burden. Ray is unable to handle many of the tasks he used to be able to manage around the house. Toni will openly talk about her stress and, as she terms it, “the weight on my shoulders.” Initially, Toni worried that once Ray was on hospice, he was going to drop dead at any moment. I talked with her about the end of life process and typically what happens. She was relieved when she understood that Ray likely will be around a little while longer.

Our hospice receives donated funds from families. The donations all go back to our patients and families. We use the funds to purchase appropriate booklets and handouts which we routinely hand out. In addition, when a family’s income is low and they are not able to pay a basic expense, we are able to utilize those donated funds.

When we admitted Ray to hospice, two weeks ago, I was able to get hospice team’s approval to pay for his cremation expense. Ray and Toni were so grateful, they could not believe it. I discovered from my visit yesterday with the couple, that their electricity will be turned off in four days if they don’t pay the balance. Again, I was able to get team approval to pay the bill.

I called Toni to say I would need to come out today to pick up the bill in order to present a copy of it to the proper manager for payment. An hour later, as I walked into their home, Toni said that Ray cried when he heard what we had done. Ray emotionally shared that, "No one has every done anything like that for them before." They were so moved and thankful, it melted my heart.


HE’LL LAUGH
　

Life has been hard for them.
They have struggled for years.
They work so hard to stay ahead,
but somehow are always one step behind.

They talk about the hard times.
They’ll share the worries and the pain.
He’ll tell you a funny story about his best friend;
          and then he’ll laugh.

They don’t have fancy furniture.
They don’t wear designer clothes.
He’ll smile at you and share a corny joke,
          and then he’ll laugh.

They count their blessings every day;
of which they feel abundant.
Not one possession do they consider.
It’s all about family and their many friends.

We covered the cost of his funeral plans.
We paid their late electric bill.
“No one has ever done
anything like this for us before.”
          And then he cried.