TROUBLES

Fifty-seven year old “Doug” was diagnosed with bladder cancer two years ago. Unfortunately, chemotherapy did not work for him. His doctor told him that there was no more treatment available, as radiation was not a viable option for him. Unfortunately, his cancer has spread to his bone and lymph nodes.

Doug has been married to “Tanya” for thirty-six years. They have four adult sons; of which three live in the home, along with Doug’s handicapped brother. All four of their sons have some emotional and physical needs ranging from alcoholism, bi-polar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder; just to name a few. In addition, their one son, who doesn’t reside in the home, cannot raise his six year old daughter, due to his own emotional challenges. Doug and Tanya have guardianship over “Kaley”, their granddaughter. Fortunately, throughout the hard times, this is a very devoted, close-knit family.

Through all of these struggles, Tanya has been the anchor that has held this family together. Doug has been on disability for over ten years due to back problems prior to being diagnosed with cancer. Tanya works part time as a hired caretaker for an elderly woman. Tanya says she has done it for seven years and feels supportive by her patient as it is someone with whom she can talk with.

Even though Doug has been ill for over two years, Tanya has been able to manage and cope, praying that someday he will be cured. Since Doug was admitted to hospice two days ago, the reality of his situation has come to a head. She has switched from hoping for a cure, to feeling that he may die at any moment. The strain has her easily in tears to where she cannot stop thinking about it.

Tanya has always found a way to respond to her troubles. Her electricity may be turned off within four days unless she pays the $400 overdue bill. She declines any help, as feels she will find a solution. Her philosophy is “Things always have a way of working out.”

Tanya was receptive to meeting with a bereavement counselor weekly. In addition, I will visit weekly to give her the additional support. Hopefully between hospice’s and her family’s support, she will be able to get through this difficult time.

TROUBLES

Her road has been rough.
It’s been one thing or another.
Each time, she’s been able to keep on going,
          until now.

She is raising her young granddaughter,
as her son can’t handle the task.
Her other sons can’t make it on their own,
so all three have recently moved back home.

No one is working but her.
Part time; minimum wage.
She loves her job caring for another.
It’s where she gets her needed support.

It’s been a struggle to pay the bills.
There just isn’t enough money coming in.
It has always worked out somehow,
          until now.

Her husband is dying; she sees the decline.
There is nothing she can do.
Her tears flow so easily, she can’t stop crying.
Now, for the first time, she’s the one needing help.

She has always been the one they all turned to.
Now it is their turn to support her.
She has never asked them for help before,
          until now.

Troubles.