BROKEN HEART

“Joan” turned sixty-nine today, after being on hospice two weeks. She suffers from ovarian cancer. Joan lives with, “Art”, her husband of forty-four years. Art answered the phone when I called to arrange my initial visit two weeks ago. My first interaction was him saying gruffly, “Who is this?” It took me aback for a moment as I felt like I was talking to a drill sergeant.

I scheduled an appointment to go out the next day while our phone conversation continued with his rough demeanor. Even over the phone, I felt his caring heart. He made me laugh, as I knew it wasn’t his intention to be rude. He just wanted to be heard.

Joan was lying on the couch during that first visit. She would doze on and off, although, generally, was part of the conversation. Since then, Joan has declined rather quickly. She has not eaten any solid food for five days and can no longer swallow. The doctor has ordered her medication in liquid form which will make it easier for her to swallow the needed medicine.

During my second visit to the home today, Art was present along with his son, “Mitch” and daughter-in-law “Allison”. Mitch and Allison were talking about their seven year old son and had a lot of questions regarding how they could help him. I spent time educating them on children and their grieving process. While Mitch and I were talking, Art listened quietly for quite a while and then asked me in his typical tone, “Well, what do you need from us?” I answered him that it is not what I need, but what can I do for you? I added that I was there to help him and his family in any way that they needed. I kept my voice soft and gentle as I knew he would likely hear what I was saying. I wanted Art to know that I cared about him and his family. Art then stayed quiet for a while, while Mitch and Allison were expressing their thoughts.

Art is used to being in control and doesn’t like the feeling that there is nothing he can do to save his wife. One can see his kind and shattered heart. Fortunately, Art has good supports from his family and has plans on what he is going to do to keep busy after Joan dies. I wish Art well.

 
BROKEN HEART
　

He is rough around the edges.
His demeanor is rather harsh.
He’ll bark instead of talk,
but then, there is that broken heart.

His presence fills the room.
He is someone you cannot ignore.
A big, burly guy with a loud voice,
trying to hide his shattered heart.

He is losing his partner;
his wife of forty years.
He usually is in control of things.
He doesn’t like this at all.

If you ask him how he is doing,
he’ll brusquely respond, “I’m fine”,
even though he knows that you both know
it’s so far from his truth.

It won’t be long before she’s gone.
Probably no more than a week.
His pain will be deep;
His voice will be loud
while he attempts to deny
       his broken heart.