BE A KID

Fifty-six year old, “Rhonda”, suffers from lung cancer that has spread to her brain. Rhonda gets forgetful and struggles with word finding at times. She is wobbly on her feet and is at risk for falling. Rhonda needs constant supervision as she has poor judgment and is not aware of her deficits.

Rhonda lives with “Raymond”, her husband of thirty years. Raymond and Rhonda have two adult sons. One son is married and lives two hours away. Their younger son, ”John”, twenty-two, lives in the home. Both sons are devoted to their parents.

John attends school at a nearby junior college. John and his father take turns caring for Rhonda. John is available between his classes. When John is attending class, Raymond is able to take time away from his work to come home. Fortunately, John’s school and Raymond’s work are only a five minute drive from home.

During my visit to the home today, I was able to spend time alone with John. This is the first time I have had that opportunity. John was able to open up with me and share how it is for him to care for his mother. He spoke about the difficulty without complaining. John is devoted to his parents and wouldn’t have it any other way. Because his mother was sleeping and not listening, he was able to be totally honest.

I admire his insight, his maturity and his ability to be forthcoming. He is an amazing young man.

 
BE A KID

　
He is devoted to his mom.
He helps out in between college classes.
His dad is there the rest of the time.
It’s a heavy load for both of them.

She gets confused and doesn’t remember.
He’ll patiently explain so she’ll understand.
He says he is getting tired and drained.
He feels like he is the parent now.

He went away with friends for a few days.
It was great to feel free with no responsibility.
He goofed off and laughed a lot.
It felt great to just be a kid.

He returned home to again care for her.
He fixes her meals and helps her dress.
He finds the words when she cannot.
He wouldn’t have it any other way.

He knows her time is limited.
She’s getting weaker and sleeping a lot.
He loves her with all of his heart.
He knows afterwards,
       he’ll have plenty of time
              to just
                     be a kid.