A FAMILY

“Rich”, fifty-two, suffers from pancreatic cancer. He came onto hospice about five weeks ago after stopping chemotherapy. The chemotherapy was making him pretty sick. He was ready to stop the treatment because of the severe side affects.

Rich lives with his wife, “Janet”. Janet and Rich have been married twenty-two years. They have three teenage children ranging in age from thirteen to eighteen. I went out specifically today to meet with the three teenagers. The four of us sat in the back bedroom to talk. It was amazing, as all three of the children were able to easily verbalize their feelings and how they process those feelings.

Thirteen year old, “Ben” looks a lot younger than his age. He is short for his age and has such a sweet, innocent face. I asked Ben about his fears and it was then he told me his worries about his family. The words he spoke were from someone who has thought about these things a lot.

He shared that he hadn’t talked with anyone about these fears. He agreed it would be helpful if he spoke with his mother. Once I helped him to think about ways he could talk to his mother, a huge smile came over his face. One could see the relief lifting from his shoulders.

The three children all amazed me as they all had excellent ways of processing their emotions. Eighteen year old, “AJ” wrote poetry and listened to music to help him process his thoughts, while his fifteen year old sister, “Juliana” did journaling and got support from her girlfriends.

With a little guidance, quite often, children can deal with life pressures much better than many adults. They need to be aware of the tools that are available to them. We could all learn from the youth around us.


A FAMILY

He looks at you so intently,
with his adorable, cherub face.
His eyes lock in on yours,
yearning to know how it will be.

He knows his dad is dying.
He knows he will be sad for a while.
But he worries most about his mother,
“She will be depressed for a long time.”

His older brother will head off to college.
His older sister has her own friends.
He feels his family will break apart,
leaving him alone to be on his own.

You can tell he’s thought about this a lot.
It weighs heavily on his mind.
Intense worries for a thirteen year old
who just wants to, again
be part of a normal family.

We spoke about what he could say to mom;
to let her know how he feels.
He smiled and said he would talk to her.
Facial relief coinciding with a manageable plan.

I know she will reassure and love him.
They both may shed a few tears.
But in the end, he will know,
he is, and always will be,
       part of
              an unbroken family.