GRAND ENTRANCE

Fifty-four year old "Randy" suffered from lymphoma. Randy was referred to hospice by his doctor because he was declining rapidly. Randy lived with his partner of five years, "James". James also suffered from cancer, although was in remission. Randy was very restless and needed assistance with all of his needs. It was difficult to carry on any meaningful conversation with him as he could not stay focused.

Randy and James have a wonderful network of friends who are totally devoted to them. There was always at least one or two friends in the home. They took turns helping James care for Randy. Randy's two adult children, his parents and three siblings all lived nearby. His family is very involved, loving and supportive as well.

Yesterday I went out to do a routine visit. I met with James, "Carol", Randy's sister and "Charles" a close friend. Randy was in a deep sleep in the next room. He had not eaten or had any water for almost a week. His breathing was shallow and it appeared that he was in a coma. His death was imminent.

Carol stated that today was Randy's ex-wife's birthday. She said that he will not die today as he would not want to upset the day for his children. He thought that this was a special day for his ex-wife and two children. She added that Randy was always thinking about others.

Carol said that Randy was very strong in his beliefs about wanting to help others. She thought he would die in the early morning hours after midnight so as to not taint his ex-wife's special day.

I heard this morning that Randy died today at 12:40AM. Why am I not surprised?


GRAND ENTRANCE

It was always a grand entrance
when he walked in through the door.
His personality was engaging.
His presence filled the room.

Life handed him some struggles.
A few disappointments along the way.
But the love of his family was strong.
He knew they were always around.

She said he wouldn't die today.
He would wait a little while longer.
He would not taint her special birthday.
He'd never do that to his kids.

His pulse was racing;
his breathing so slow,
but he hung on throughout the day,
even though they knew
his time was so near.

He often put others first.
He was gentle and kind that way.
So no one was surprised the moment he died.
They knew he chose that date; that time.

He waited until shortly after midnight.
He waited for her birthday to pass.
He knew then it was okay to go.
To make his grand entrance.
To cross over to the other side.