Twenty-nine year old "Faith" was diagnosed with breast cancer eight months ago. Even with chemotherapy and radiation treatments. her health continued to decline. Faith met with her doctor yesterday who told her that the treatment is no longer working as her cancer has spread. It was then when the doctor referred her to hospice, documenting that she was imminent.
Faith lives with her parents, "John" and "Diana" and her younger sister, "Annie". Faith is very close to her family. She also has numerous sorority sisters with whom she considers her extended family. Faith's co-workers are donating vacation time to where she has two months of continued full time pay she can use.
The nurse and I went out today to open Faith to hospice. She was sleeping and very lethargic during the visit. The family shared that Faith is sleeping a lot now. She is eating only soft foods supplementing her diet with a protein drink. It appears she has one to two weeks at most to live.
The nurse and I sat with Faith's parents and sister at the kitchen table. Diana was tearful, but when we spoke about her daughter's wishes regarding resuscitation, she totally broke down. Annie said that Faith told her that she would not want to ever be on life supports. John and Diana do not want their daughter to suffer, but had an automatic reaction to have everything done so Faith can live. They quickly came to the realization that there is nothing that can be done to give Faith a quality of life she would want.
When I asked John how he was doing, he replied, "I'm fine". He did not say anything more. Toward the end of our visit, I asked him again how he was doing. He repeated, "I'm fine." I stayed quiet for a moment. He then started to slowly share how he is so angry that this is happening to his daughter. Diana then added, "This is so unfair."
I wanted to comfort them, but there was not much I could say or do to take their pain away. They will have to grieve their daughter and hopefully, in time, will be able to process their feelings. It is just so sad. It brings up so many questions that have no answers.
HOW DO YOU?
How do you tell a mom
to make funeral arrangements for her daughter?
A daughter who was just starting to blossom.
Whose life had really only just begun.
How do you give comfort to a parent
whose tears so quickly flow?
Saying a benign, "I'm so sorry",
an ineffective three word phrase.
She was always full speed ahead.
Putting so much life in each of her days.
Did she know it would be cut short?
Did she know her time was limited?
How do you direct their anger
when they feel life is so unfair.
They say she did all the right things.
They keep asking, "Why her?"
How do you help them say goodbye
when they are not ready for her to go?
Too many questions that have no answers.
But then,
How do you?
Faith lives with her parents, "John" and "Diana" and her younger sister, "Annie". Faith is very close to her family. She also has numerous sorority sisters with whom she considers her extended family. Faith's co-workers are donating vacation time to where she has two months of continued full time pay she can use.
The nurse and I went out today to open Faith to hospice. She was sleeping and very lethargic during the visit. The family shared that Faith is sleeping a lot now. She is eating only soft foods supplementing her diet with a protein drink. It appears she has one to two weeks at most to live.
The nurse and I sat with Faith's parents and sister at the kitchen table. Diana was tearful, but when we spoke about her daughter's wishes regarding resuscitation, she totally broke down. Annie said that Faith told her that she would not want to ever be on life supports. John and Diana do not want their daughter to suffer, but had an automatic reaction to have everything done so Faith can live. They quickly came to the realization that there is nothing that can be done to give Faith a quality of life she would want.
When I asked John how he was doing, he replied, "I'm fine". He did not say anything more. Toward the end of our visit, I asked him again how he was doing. He repeated, "I'm fine." I stayed quiet for a moment. He then started to slowly share how he is so angry that this is happening to his daughter. Diana then added, "This is so unfair."
I wanted to comfort them, but there was not much I could say or do to take their pain away. They will have to grieve their daughter and hopefully, in time, will be able to process their feelings. It is just so sad. It brings up so many questions that have no answers.
HOW DO YOU?
How do you tell a mom
to make funeral arrangements for her daughter?
A daughter who was just starting to blossom.
Whose life had really only just begun.
How do you give comfort to a parent
whose tears so quickly flow?
Saying a benign, "I'm so sorry",
an ineffective three word phrase.
She was always full speed ahead.
Putting so much life in each of her days.
Did she know it would be cut short?
Did she know her time was limited?
How do you direct their anger
when they feel life is so unfair.
They say she did all the right things.
They keep asking, "Why her?"
How do you help them say goodbye
when they are not ready for her to go?
Too many questions that have no answers.
But then,
How do you?
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