ADVOCATE

“Joan”, ninety years old, has suffered from dementia for many years.  She has lived in a Memory Care Unit of an Assisted Living Facility for ten years.  Joan’s daughter, “Diane”, lives nearby and is very involved and supportive of her mother.  Mom took a fall a few weeks ago and broke her hip.  She had some physical therapy, which did not help her weakness at all.  She returned to her Memory Care Unit this morning.

Due to her dramatic decline, we admitted her to Hospice today.  She continues to become weaker and is no longer able to eat regular food as it causes her to choke.  She is now on a pureed diet with thickened liquids.  She has a lot of anxiety as has been bedridden for three weeks.  I hope that hospice can support she and her daughter as needed.

ADVOCATE

Mom lives in a memory care unit

as her dementia has increased over time.

She's been Mom’s primary contact; the caregiver

for almost eleven and a half of those years.

Mom took a fall just three weeks ago

and has dramatically declined since then.

She is so weak, she is now bedridden;

                         unable to walk like before.

We met the patient and her daughter

in Mom’s room at the assisted living facility.

As we were explaining hospice’s support;

Mom would interrupt us every five minutes or so.

Her daughter would immediately respond

wanting to comfort her; to ease her anxiety.

This visit took twice as long as normal

as the daughter wanted minute details

                         about hospice’s support as well.

Her detailed needs tested our patience

as we wanted to move this meeting along.

But then, I thought, “Be where she is,

as there is no right or wrong way here.”

She had total control during our visit,

wanting to know everything that was available.

As I was leaving the meeting, I deeply shared with her,

“Continue to let us know what you need or don’t understand,

as you are giving Mom the best gift of all; 

                         being her advocate.”