STAY REAL

The hospice nurse and I had two admissions today that were back-to-back.  Surprisingly, both were eighty-six years old.  In addition, both had hired caregivers in the home to help with their needs.  Each lived in huge homes that were so beautifully decorated.  Besides those similarities, they each thought so much alike.   

 

Both were real about the status and prognosis of their disease.  Similarly, each was appropriately sad but then would talk positively about their supportive families.  Fortunately, their children all lived locally and were involved in their care as well.   They may be appropriately sad about their situation, but then being aware and talking about their loving families so lifted their spirits.   In the end, though, no one is fully prepared for any terminal diagnosis. 

 

STAY REAL 

 

Both were referred to hospice today. 

The nurse and I saw them back-to-back. 

Both have had a sudden, recent decline. 

She with colon cancer; his cancer impacts his heart. 

 

She is wheelchair bound due to weakness. 

“I don’t have the stability any longer”. 

He is bedridden due to his leg frailty. 

“Would bed exercises help my strength?” 

 

Throughout our lives, our body focuses hard 

on keeping us healthy while fighting off germs. 

During the terminal stage, the focus changes 

as things shift inside as our body is now letting go. 

 

Not surprisingly, both are sleeping more; 

as they need energy that is no longer there. 

In addition, both are eating so much less. 

Weakness is in charge now, as each is losing weight. 

 

The two are so realistic regarding their prognosis. 

They each have had chemotherapy with poor results. 

Neither, understandably, want excessive treatment 

as the side effects strongly impact their quality of life. 

 

When I asked each about any fears or concerns; 

their reality about it strongly shone. 

She answered,” I am not fond of dying”. 

He, after some thought said,” I want it to be over”. 

 

Being real can generate strong sadness, 

but it can also give awareness of true reality. 

Both are coping the best way they know how 

as it likely has helped them handle things in their past. 

 

“Keep coping the best way you know how. 

Feel your grief; feel your emotions; feel your love. 

It is what I call “Normal”. 

So, continue to do things your way. 

                         Stay real!”