“Harry”, eighty-nine years old, was admitted to our hospice program today. He has had a sudden, recent decline secondary to an aneurysm. He is now so weak that he is bedridden. He has some confusion, but then, has a very funny sarcastic humor. His two sons live nearby and are very involved and supportive. Harry has 24/7 support from a live-in caregiver.
Harry was real about what is happening to him. He so appropriately did not like the idea of being dependent. He would talk about getting stronger, but then reality would hit him, and he would then talk about his wife, as that gave him support. He has a strong Christian faith and so knows that he will see his deceased wife soon. That truly gives him the support he so naturally needs.
WHAT HE WANTS
He has lived his entire life
in this small, farming town.
His grandparents settled here
over one hundred years ago.
He has some confusion, but
accurately shares his family history.
One can hear his pride; his gratefulness;
of being a major part of the good old days.
He married and raised two sons in town.
He traveled a lot for his business;
so wasn’t around as much as he liked.
Now, being close to 90 years of age;
he has enormous regrets.
He lights up when talking about his wife.
They were married for over sixty-five years.
She died suddenly four years ago.
He misses her most of all.
He regretfully spoke about his business trips;
and how he was away much too often.
He pointed to a photo of her; while softly saying,
“I miss her smile most of all”.
When asked about any fears or concerns;
he spoke about the fear of letting go;
but then, he so beautifully added,
“I am so anxious to meet up with her”.
Yes, he so truly knows, exactly
what he wants.
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