SAD

We received a referral today to admit, “James”, a seventy-year old diagnosed with liver failure.  James had been living alone until he took a fall one month ago.  That fall dramatically changed things for James and his family. He could no longer live alone and so moved in with his son, “Jeff”.  Jeff has taken leave from work in order to care for his father.  James is not safe to be alone and needs supervision.  

When the nurse and I walked up, James was sitting quietly in a wheelchair. All of us sat near him, but it was like he was so disconnected.  His eyes would track us like he understood; but who truly knows.  Now and then, he would nod his head side to side or up and down to answer a question. 

I wish him the best and hope James knows how much his son loves him.  Love, for sure, being the best gift around. 

SAD 

 

Most of my hospice cases

have a component of sadness.

But then, so many soften that emotion

with love; support; each other.

 

I feel so blessed and honored

to do this incredible work

as patients and families so frequently

                    do truly amaze me.

 

Now and then, a case will hit me hard.

I typically never see it coming;

until the visit is over and I am back in my car;

giving me time to reflect my thoughts.

 

He took a recent fall and hit his head

causing a change in his mental status.

His eyes track you and he seems aware

as will slowly nod his head now and then.

 

He is much weaker and unable to walk.

He is eating only bites and has lost weight.

He is no longer speaking at all as his son will say;

                   “He is choosing not to talk”

 

Were things meant to be this way for him?

It is like he has given up on his life;

accepting all of the bad while blind to the good.

I pray that he is living his life his way.

 

But then;

          it just makes me feel

                                         so sad.