SO UNFAIR

The nurse and I went out to admit, “Joshua”, fifty years old, to hospice.  Joshua was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease only four months ago after symptoms of weakness in his legs.  Joshua is married to his wife and has two teenage daughters.  He was a landscaper by trade and loved his work. 

In only four months, his life has dramatically changed.  His ALS symptoms have continued strongly.  Joshua is now bedridden and unable to use his arms or legs.  He is so dependent with all of his daily activities.  Joshua has accepted his situation, although does have some appropriate emotions regarding his dependency.  He is so aware on how his illness is impacting him and his family.  He is forever a son, a husband and a father; wanting to continue to care for his family. 

He is realistic and is aware that his symptoms will continue.   He is now eating small portions and has lost thirty pounds since the diagnosis.  His pleasures in life are so limited, but he continues to live his life as fully as he is able.  I so admire him, but then, on the other hand, it is just so darn unfair.

SO UNFAIR 

 

It was only six months ago

when his legs started to weaken.

The weakness continued,

                    not wanting to stop.                   

 

Two months later he was informed;

“It is ALS or Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

We will help you all that we can,

but there is limited treatment;

                    there is no cure.” 

 

Weakness has won the battle

as his decline has been swift.

His arms and legs no longer work.

He is now bedridden;

                    not able to walk.

 

He is truthful and realistic regarding his thoughts.

He claims some anxiety with some depression.

Normal reactions most all would feel;

as being a burden is the last thing on any list.

 

He appreciates his wife; he loves his kids.

His parents are visiting from out of state.

He so thanked us for being there for support.

                    He values all that he has.

 

But then, why is this happening to him?

What is it all about; what is the purpose?

There are no answers to my questions at all

except, to me, it is unfair to him and his family.

                    It is just so unfair!