JUST SAD

I first met “Tracy” eight months ago last summer.  She was recently diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and had undergone chemotherapy and radiation.  The side effects of the treatment were horrendous for her.  Secondary to that reaction, she chose to stop all treatment.  Tracy lived with her husband, “Bill.  It was the second marriage for both.  They had seven children between them and seventeen grandchildren.  Amazingly, all but two of the family members live nearby.  This is a very close and loving family. 

Tracy handled her disease and poor prognosis with reality.  She was very practical about life.  Tracy’s heart so filled with love and devotion to her husband.  Bill too, loved Tracy with all of his heart.  It was so beautiful to see.  One felt the strong love surrounding the two of them. 

Tracy spoke her truth, which I totally respect.  When one speaks their truth, it makes it so much easier, as hospice workers, to assist patients and families as they need.  Tracy and Bill also had a great sense of humor.  They had the nurse and I laughing throughout the visit. 

When I heard today that she had died this morning, my heart sank.  I felt such a strong sense of sadness.  I realized then, how much she had impacted me.  She was an amazing soul.  I know she is sharing her love on the other side as well.  Her love will continue to trickle back down to her family and friends.  Tracy will forever take care of those she loves.  God bless you dear Tracy.

JUST SAD 

 

I only met her three times.

When she was first diagnosed last summer;

then again; just a few weeks ago.

Each time, she touched my heart so deeply.

 

She was realistic regarding her diagnosis;

aware that likely within a few months

it would be her cause of death.

She handled it all with such grace.

 

It was their second marriage

and the love just flowed amongst the two.

Pictures of family were all around

as they had seven children between them. 

 

She has been declining rapidly this past month;

sleeping more and becoming weaker.

Her first thoughts always were for her husband,

making sure he is going to be alright.

 

She died peacefully early this morning;

letting go gracefully knowing it was her time.

Her husband and family were lovingly by her side

giving her, and each of them, the strength to go on.

 

The moment I heard; sadness has hit me hard.

Such a huge loss for the family; for hospice; for me.

I suppose her work was done here

as she was genuinely needed more on the other side.

 

I hope to meet her again one day

as she was such a special soul.

She will be with me for a while I know;

as it was her love, her kindness, her heart.

 

I feel honored and blessed to have met her.

Along with strong grief that has encircled my heart,

I am happy she is no longer suffering.

But for now, I am just

                    so sad.