HER WAY

"Betsy”, eighty-one, was admitted to hospice two days ago.  Betsy had never married and had no children.  Her “family” were her two closest friends; “Ellie” and “Anna”.  Ellie was the agent for her Health Care and legally was able to express Betsy’s health care wishes.   

 

One week ago, Betsy became extremely ill due to an infection.  She was hospitalized and never recovered.  She was discharged home three days ago with our hospice program support.  We met Betsy, Ellie and Anna, in front of Betsy’s home as the ambulance drove up to bring her home from the hospital.  Betsy was minimally responsive and so very weak. 

 

Our hospice nurse knew that she was imminent, but Ellie and Anna, were still processing this dramatic change from one week ago.  Ellie and Anna told us wonderful stories about Betsy.  Her home was so artistic and decorated beautifully.  Betsy was a musician and had also taught piano. 

 

Ellie and Anna spoke about Betsy’s estate.  They said that Betsy wanted to change a few things which would require her signature on notarized paperwork.  Ellie was hoping that Betsy would be more awake the following day.  The nurse and I knew she was imminent and likely that would not happen. 

 

Knowing how strongly Betsy’s friend wanted to follow her wishes, I offered another alternative by just telling Betsy all of the paperwork was complete.  Whether Betsy’s signature was on the paperwork or not, I knew that Ellie and Anna would always follow her wishes. 

 

Betsy died peacefully the following afternoon.  I spoke with Ellie this morning to offer condolences and support.  It was then that Ellie thanked me for suggesting they tell Betsy that the paperwork was completed.  She said that she and Anna comfortably shared that information with Betsy.   

 

Ellie said that Betsy died peacefully.  She felt good by telling Betsy that all of the paperwork was complete.  Ellie said that with that knowledge, Betsy was able to easily let go. 

HER WAY 

 

She had been healthy her entire life; 

living and loving her way. 

She spoke her truth to those around 

letting them know how things were to be. 

 

Her life changed dramatically one week ago. 

A major infection mowed her down. 

She was hospitalized to no avail. 

Two days ago, she was discharged to home. 

 

Her two friends were totally there for her.  

They were her strongest advocates. 

They wanted to help as she would say; 

focused totally on doing things her way. 

 

She had wanted to change a few subtle things 

on the paperwork of her estate. 

They needed her notarized signature, 

but it seemed likely that could not be. 

 

It was then I suggested they tell her it was done; 

as they wanted her to peacefully let go. 

Whether she signed the paperwork or not; 

I know they would see that it would be. 

 

I called to give my condolences; my support 

as she died peacefully just yesterday. 

They thanked me for giving them guidance 

as they both told her the paperwork was complete. 

 

It gave her comfort knowing all was done; 

making it easy for her to let go; 

ending her life like she has always lived; 

               Her way.