SOB

In our hospice, we have a policy that when a patient becomes imminent; a nurse or a social worker will visit daily.  Hospice defines imminent when a patient has two weeks or less to live.

“Elena”, thirty years old, was diagnosed with cancer three years ago.  It has now spread to other organs.  Elena is eating only bites and is becoming very weak.  She is bedridden and sleeps throughout most of the day. 

Elena, and her sister, “Mari”, speak English.  Fortunately, when I did my visit today, Mari was there.  As I walked up to the front door of the apartment and introduced myself to Mari, she laid her head on my shoulder, hugged me and just sobbed so strongly.  Elena has declined so rapidly.  The family is appropriately struggling with this rapid decline. 

Mom was sitting on a bed next to where her daughter was sleeping.  My goal was to offer comfort to both of them, using Mari as a translator as Mom did not speak English.  It was difficult as I could not tell how much Mom could clearly understand what we were saying. 

The family had not yet selected a funeral home, which often is best to do ahead of time.  If one waits until the day they need to call a mortuary, they are numb, in shock, and may make a decision they normally wouldn’t make. 

As I tried to softly bring up that topic, both Mom and Mari cried to deeply.  I just held onto both of them; saying nothing.  I hoped that Mom felt my compassion; my sorrow for what she was experiencing.  It was when I got up to leave, that Mom let me know that she understood every word.  It gave me such peace and comfort knowing that I did the right thing for both of them.  And yes, for me as well.  Thank you so much, Mom.

SOB

 

I went out to give Mom support.

To offer compassion; to offer empathy.

To give the comfort she so needed.

Struggling with having to say goodbye.

 

Her daughter was asleep nearby;

looking so peaceful; so beautiful.

Mom was sitting next to her

trying so hard to hold back tears.

 

Suddenly the sobs came so strongly.

While placing her hands over her eyes;

her body trembled so rapidly.

There were no words left to say.

 

I had no words to offer either

as we did not speak the same language.

I just held on to her so tightly

wanting to give her comfort; to give support.

 

I hoped she felt my compassion.

I hoped she knew I cared.

We could not talk to each other,

although body language expresses to all.

 

She came up to me as I got up to leave.

While laying her head on my shoulder,

she wrapped her arms completely around me;

and, again, she sobbed so deep from her heart.

 

It was then when she expressed to me;

in a way we both would know;

“Yes, you did comfort me.

               I felt your every word.”