FIFTY YEARS

The hospice nurse and I admitted "John" to our hospice program today. John suffers from lung cancer that has spread to his bones. The moment we walked into the home, John welcomed us so graciously. He spoke about his life in such a realistic way. He did not blame anyone for his cancer, but spoke of his years of abusing alcohol and smoking cigarettes.

John has suffered so many losses in his life. All of his relatives are deceased. John embraces his days as no one in his family have survived to see fifty years, but him. John has three daughters who all live nearby and are healthy. Two of John's daughters were present during our visit, and one could so feel the strong love in the home. It was so beautiful to see.

John cherishes each day that he has, while having no fears about dying. He has strong spiritual beliefs and knows that there is an afterlife, but not sure what it is all about. His wife died four years ago and he truly knows he will be seeing her again. He is looking forward to that moment.

I was so amazed by John, as he realistically and easily spoke about his life; the good, the bad and the ugly. He had no blame, but total acceptance. He embraced each day as it came, knowing any day could be his last. I wish him the best.


FIFTY YEARS　

He casually spoke about his life.
How he smoked and drank for years.
His body has reacted to those addictions;
          lung cancer is now in control.

He is very realistic regarding his life.
Fully accepting all that he's been through.
He lost his wife four years ago.
He knows he will see her soon.

He spoke about his family.
How all have died before seeing fifty years.
His mother in her early thirties;
          his father at forty-nine.

He no longer has his siblings;
both brothers have already died.
He does not talk of the strong pain of that loss,
but quietly will say, "I still miss them every day."

I asked him about any fears or concerns.
His answer came from deep in his heart.
"I am in bonus time. I embrace each day.
It's all in my Higher Power's hands".

He's lived twenty years longer than any of them.
His life has been up and down.
He has no regrets or unfinished business.
He just doesn't want to die alone.

His three daughters will grieve him I know,
but are so appreciative of the time that he has had.
All anticipated an early death,
but he has always, and will continue to.
embrace his life no matter how many years.