PERFECT

A fellow co-worker, "Tanya", and I have worked together for several years. She is such an amazing and supportive person; full of love and kindness. One of Tanya's closest friends, "Stephanie", was diagnosed with cancer a number of months ago. Stephanie underwent chemotherapy to no avail.

Tanya asked one of our wonderful hospice nurses and myself to do the admission visit for her friend. I felt so honored to be asked. I truly believe that ninety-five percent of hospice is from the heart. Patients and family can feel the heart and support we bring when introducing them to our hospice program.

When we walked into Stephanie's home, Tanya sat down next to me. Stephanie was sitting nearby across the room. I focused the majority of my conversation onto Stephanie as I knew Tanya is aware of the program. In addition, when I looked at Tanya, my heart would just melt and I wanted to hug her. It did distract me for a moment, but then I would focus on Stephanie.

Walking out after the visit, I felt I just didn't do enough. I wanted to say all of the wonderful and amazing words and be perfect. I know it is a goal no one could achieve, but I felt I could have done so much more.

I know Tanya will never even come close to thinking that, but because she is my friend, I emotionally want to fix it and make all of her pain go away. Intellectually, I know that was an unreachable goal for anyone.

Life does send all of us obstacles and high hills to cross over. My heart goes out to Stephanie and Tanya. The best I can do is be there for Tanya and support her as I best can.

PERFECT　

I know that no one is totally perfect.
Such a difficult goal to even achieve.
But there are times we strive to be flawless.
Human nature unsurprisingly pushing us there.

She is such an amazing person.
A huge heart so full of love.
Tender, kind, gracious and smart.
I love just having her around.

She asked me and her favorite nurse
to please do the hospice admission for her friend.
I felt so honored and humbled by her request.
She was letting us know just what to do.

With each admission I explain our program.
Offering comfort with words from my heart.
I let the patient know that they are in charge.
"Please let us know what works for you."

My friend was sitting next to me.
I was as much there for her as I was for her friend.
I wanted to offer tremendous support;
using only perfect and wonderful words.

I set a goal no one could ever achieve.
I felt I could have done more.
I wanted to take their pain away;
while striving for an unreachable goal;
          to be perfect.