HIS HABITS

"John", sixty-four, suffers from chronic lung disease. John has been on oxygen for quite a few years. John is single and has no children. His only family is his sister who lives several hundred miles away. John started drinking and smoking as a teenager. Throughout the years, he has never stopped.

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit John to our hospice program today. We noticed that he continues to drink and smoke. During our discussion with John, he constantly drank his cranberry juice. Every so often, he would pick up the Russian vodka bottle nearby and add it to his juice. In addition, several dirty ashtrays were within his reach. We spoke about the dangers of smoking with oxygen around. John is aware and said he doesn't worry about it. John had a very sarcastic sense of humor. He wanted to shock the two of us, while trying to make us laugh.

He spoke of regrets due to the poor choices he has made throughout his life. This past month the reality of his health has impacted him due to his recent decline. It has made him aware of his poor prognosis and terminal status.

After we left John's home, with his permission, we spoke to his sister on the phone. She stated how she does not understand why her brother continues to drink and smoke. John is addicted to alcohol and has been a smoker for decades. For all of us, old habits are so hard to break. I wish him all the best.

HIS HABITS　

He started smoking as a teenager.
Alcohol came a bit later.
His habits continue today;
for more than fifty years.

He's never married
He has no kids.
His only family is his sister.
She helps as best as she can.

He's on continuous oxygen
due to chronic lung disease.
His life has been greatly impacted
by his habits of so many years.

We admitted him to hospice today.
He is very weak; spending most days in bed.
He spoke about life's regrets
while adding vodka to his juice nearby.

Several dirty ashtrays were within his reach.
He continues to smoke with his oxygen on
even though fully understanding
just how dangerous that can be.

His sister wishes he would stop drinking and smoking
but habits, whether good or bad ones,
for each and every one of us
          are all so very difficult
                   to break.