WHAT SHE WANTS

When someone is near the end of their life, their body starts to prepare for death. Patients start to eat less and less as they slowly lose their appetite. Many patients often stop drinking as well. Our culture, along with so many others, want our loved ones to eat. We think they will feel better. Patients do not die of starvation or thirst. Their body can no longer process food or water efficiently. Oftentimes, it can cause more discomfort by forcing patients to eat or drink.

In the end, we don't want our loved ones to die, but then, we don't want them to suffer either. It is so hard to allow someone to let go. I have often heard, "They are giving up."

What many do not understand is that it isn't giving up, it is letting go. No one can stop the dying process. With this particular couple, it is the wife's goal for her husband to make his 100th birthday. That is something he doesn't even care about. With his lack of appetite and weakness, he has no quality of life and he is done.

He will likely continue to decline, and, with that decline, hopefully, she will see that it is time to let him go. At this point, she can only see her own needs, which are so painful. It is hard for any of us to feel so out of control. I wish them both peace and comfort.


WHAT SHE WANTS

She wants him to drink more water.
She wants him to eat a full meal.
She wants him to reach his 100th birthday,
only four short months away.

Water doesn't quench his thirst;
he has no appetite for food.
He's not thirsty; he's not hungry.
No longer any interest for him.

He is done here.
His strength is all but gone.
She needs him to continue to fight.
She's not ready to let him go.

You see her heart breaking inside.
You see her trying to regain control.
She wants him to stay a while longer,
even though he says, he wants to go.

Hopefully, in time, she'll understand
that it isn't helping him to keep holding on,
and she'll be able to release him;
       to let him go;
              to give him;
                     What he wants.