THIS DAY

Alzheimer's Disease is a slow, cruel disease. It robs folks of their memory, leaving loved ones to grieve over long periods of time. Quite often, when the patient can no longer remember, they can get frustrated and afraid. Quality of life gets so diminished. Family know that if the patient were aware, they would hate being like this.

Family members wish things were over as their loved one has no quality of life. One loses their loved one years before the actual death. With Alzheimer's Disease, families lose their loved one slowly over a long period of time. Quite often, they will feel relief at the death, as their loved one is no longer suffering. One can want it over for the patient, but then they do not want to lose their family member.

I witnessed this patient asking her daughter who she was? Seeing the look on the daughter's face pained me. The daughter shared that she knew this day would come, but did not think it would be so hurtful. On one hand, she knew it was inevitable, but on the other hand, it is an additional loss. The daughter is struggling with wanting things over for mom, but then does not want her to die. It is such a struggle for all.

THIS DAY

She knew this day would come.
She thought she'd be okay,
but actually hearing her mother's words,
shook her at her deepest core.

Why should she be surprised?
She's been going steadily downhill.
Sleeping more; getting weaker,
eating less; becoming more confused.

Visible changes hinting her decline.
Adjusting to each new challenge.
On one hand, wanting it over for her.
On the other, needing a little more time.

Walking up to her today,
seeing her slouched in her wheelchair;
not quite seeing; not quite hearing,
"Are you my daughter?"

Her mother has always known her.
This was the first day she did not.
Another new adjustment for both of them;
         This day;
                  Today.