FEAR

Eighty-two year old, “Minerva”, suffers from lung disease. She was diagnosed ten years ago and had been doing quite well. Three weeks ago, Minerva started to feel short of breath and weak. She was hospitalized four days ago for treatment and tests. Yesterday, she told her family and doctors, "That’s enough." She was done.

Minerva has been widowed for almost twenty years. For the past ten years, she has been living alone in a “Granny House” on her daughter, "Jen's," property. Jen lives in the front house with her husband. Three weeks ago, Jen moved her mother into the main house as she needed closer supervision. Minerva was becoming weaker and needing more help.

Once Jen heard her mother’s request for no more treatment and, in addition, knowing hospice was coming on board, Jen said it was like a tremendous weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She understands that this is her mother’s wishes.

Jen knows that her mom’s biggest fear is struggling to breathe. Jen shared that her biggest fear is doing something wrong and not being able to care for her mom. I assured Jen that hospice is only a phone call away. I added that she never will be alone as hospice will walk along side of her and her family for support.

Once Minerva knew that all the hospice paperwork was signed and that she was going home with hospice support, she was so relieved. Just knowing that she and her daughter had support, was a great relief for her.

Many folks aren’t fearful of dying or the afterlife; it is the struggle they may have while getting there. Fortunately, hospice’s biggest gift to patients and their family is comfort care and being available 24/7. I am so thankful we will be there for Minerva and Jen.


FEAR

She was diagnosed years ago.
Things went well for quite a while.
In just three weeks, all that has changed.
Her life as she once knew, is now totally gone.

She is bedridden, she is weak;
her appetite is all but gone.
Oxygen is needed around the clock,
fearful of not being able to breathe.

She knows her body is shutting down.
She knows her time is short.
Dying is not what fears her the most,
it is about struggling, not catching her breath.

She told her family she is done.
She has been through quite enough.
No more treatment, no more tests.
She just wants to be at home.

With hospice’s support, her anxiety now vanished,
but I was surprised by how much she had changed.
When I asked her if she had any lingering fears,
she smiled and calmly said,
       “No, not at all.”
                 This is what I want.”