GOODBYE

I have worked for the same medical center for twenty-four years. A wonderful opportunity has come my way. I have accepted a social work position in a small hospice near my home. Currently, at the end of my day, I am at least an hour drive from my home. That, and the fact that there is an opportunity for part time in the future, is what makes this new job so appealing.

When offered the position, I quickly accepted. It feels so right and the job just flowed my way without effort. I wasn’t looking for a new job, but during the entire process, I just went with the flow to see how it was to play out. I felt that if it is meant to be, it will happen.

I notified my managers and co-workers two weeks ago of my decision. Co-workers are all commenting on how different things will be. I assured them that they all will be just fine. We are like a family in hospice and I tell them it is like I am leaving home. I will still be in touch, but, yes, it will be different.

Now that I have only two weeks remaining in my old job, I have started to say goodbye to my patients and families. In addition, more and more co-workers are coming up to me and commenting on the change. I am saying goodbye to so many, which makes me sad. It is a huge loss after working for one company for so many years.

During a visit today, I was telling the patient and his daughter about my decision. I was telling them goodbye and realized that the patient is also saying goodbye to his family, his friends and his life. His grief and future are a much stronger and permanent change. What I am experiencing is only temporary, although the grief and feelings of loss touch my heart deeply.

I am surprised at how hard this is for me. I have such mixed emotions of excitement and sadness. What sustains me is knowing how right this decision is for me at this time in my life. I pray for peace for all of my patients and families. I hope they all will be fine as I know I will be.

 GOODBYE

　
Now that time is getting close,
I didn’t think it would be this hard.
Saying goodbye to so many;
families, patients, co-workers.

I am grieving what I am leaving;
but excited about what’s next.
The opportunity flowed without effort.
It feels so right; it is meant to be.

My patients also are saying goodbye;
to family, to friends, to life.
They, too, are grieving what they are leaving.
Facing an unknown in their future.

I don’t even begin to compare
my level of grief with theirs.
But then, life is full of losses.
We all seem to get our fair share.

I will move on smoothly,
while they face a tougher road.
Grief has so many layers,
but then it always involves
painfully saying
         Goodbye.