CONNECTIONS

“Hannah”, seventy years old, suffers from breast cancer. A month ago she was told her cancer has spread to her spine and abdomen. Hannah has declined so rapidly these past four weeks to where she is no longer eating. She is bedridden because of tremendous weakness.

Hannah lives with her husband, “Brian”. The two have been married thirty-eight years. Their son, “Jeff”, lives nearby with his wife and young daughter. Jeff’s wife is twenty-four weeks pregnant with their second child.

Brian answered the door to their small apartment to let me in. This was my first time meeting the family as the nurse had just opened them to hospice the day before. Brian has lots of energy and quickly walked me into the bedroom where Hannah was lying down. Hannah took my hand to say hi and immediately I felt this strong connection to her.

I sensed that Hannah felt it too as she would not let go of my hand. It was like she needed something to hold onto to help ground her. A few moments later, Jeff arrived. One could tell he and his mother have a very strong bond. The family used humor to cope and immediately we all were laughing.

I started to talk about the grieving process mentioning that anger can be a normal reaction to loss. Brian immediately started sharing his frustration and anger. He said that he and Hannah chose to have no friends as all they needed were each other. Brian shared that they both were introverts and that worked well for them all these years.

Brian and I went out to the living room where I was helping him with some paperwork. When we finished up with the paperwork, I needed Hannah to sign a form and walked back into her bedroom. It was then that Hannah and I spoke about have this strong connection to each other. Our two lives have so many similarities and coincidences it was uncanny. We both agreed that we are kindred spirits. I told Hannah, “We were meant to meet.”

Hannah is struggling with her grief as this change has been so rapid and is so recent. She is questioning why and trying to find some purpose in it all. I am feeling a sense of loss as Hannah likely will die within a week or two. Hopefully then, she will find the answers to her many questions. Ironically, I will miss her.

ADDENDUM: Hannah died four days later with her husband at her side holding her hand. This world has lost a beautiful soul. I wish her peace.


CONNECTIONS
　

The connection was instant.
Two hands united as one.
I knew her for always,
but had just walked in.

We had so much in common;
heritage, culture, beliefs.
No explanation ever necessary,
we knew from whence we came.

Lifetimes of living,
our roads had surely crossed.
She with so many losses to explore,
“I wish I had a girlfriend like you.”

She is questioning, asking why?
No clear answer to give.
She is grieving the loss of her life,
I grieve what could have been.

Somehow we were meant to meet.
If only for a moment this time.
Strong connections between two souls.
Until we meet again.