JUST A CAP

Eighty-six year old, “Helena” was diagnosed four months ago with pancreatic cancer. Helena came onto hospice as the treatment was no longer effective. Helena did not like the side affects of the treatment, which left her tired and ill.

Helena is widowed and lives alone in a senior retirement complex. She has one son, “Monty”, who lives nearby and visits often. Helena came onto hospice about a month ago due to her decline. She struggles with stomach, side and back pain. Helena waits until her pain is severe before she takes any pain medication. It is her independent personality which is driving that decision. Fortunately for Helena, she has listened to the hospice nurse instructing her on how to take her pain medication before the pain level is that high.

Helena has also been slowly becoming weaker. A month ago when we first met her, she was able to walk slowly without any help. Now, most days, she is using a walker to get around. Helena goes downstairs to the complex’s cafeteria for most of her meals. Some days though, it is too much and she orders her meals to come to her room.

The hospice nurse made a visit today and Helena told her about her hair loss from the past chemotherapy. Helena has been staying in her room as feels so self-conscious about it. She doesn’t like the way she looks. This is hard for her as she is such a social butterfly.

The nurse called me and told me about the conversation. She shared that she thought she heard that the Oncology Clinic has donated caps for patients. I called the clinic and was told that, yes, people knit caps and donate them to the Oncology Department for patients. She told me to just come by and pick one up.

I called Helena and told her that I would be bringing out a cap tomorrow if that was okay with her. With a shaking voice, she told me thanks. I was so moved at her reaction. My role on the hospice team is the non-medical part of the team, which means everything else. I am blessed in that role as I am able to do things like this for patients. Hospice works as a team, and, I am just one small part of that team. The thanks needs to go to the wonderful people who knit these caps.

Normally my day is full of pre-scheduled visits. Coincidently, I had two hours available in the middle of my day. Perfect time for me to deliver the cap to Helena. There is a higher power involved here. Things were meant to work out this way. Helena’s joy at receiving the cap is also my joy and honor to be able to do this for her. She is such a deserving soul.


JUST A CAP
　
　

She is stoic and independent.
She has always toughed things out.
The cancer diagnosis, the treatment;
accepting it all in her usual way.

She stopped her chemo a while ago.
The side affects were much too harsh.
Some lagging toxins must be hanging on
as she is still slowly losing her hair.

For the first time, she is self-conscious.
She doesn’t like the way she looks.
She can tough it out with her stomach pain,
but this hair loss is way too much.

I told her about the hand-made caps
that amazing people donate to us.
The love they show in each individual stitch
is gently handed over to folks like her.

She couldn’t believe what I told her.
“I’ll see you tomorrow with a cap in hand.”
With a shaking voice, she told me thanks.
Nothing more needed to be said.

A significant moment for her
bringing joy back into her life.
A rewarding task kindly assigned to me.
A tender, but powerful gift,
         presented as
                  just a cap.