GRAIN OF SAND

Eleven year old, “Hailey” lives with her father, “Danny” and step-mother “Sheri”. Hailey has never known her own mother. Her father raised her as a single dad until Sheri moved in three years ago.

Hailey has a very large, extended family. The family all live nearby and are very close and loving. Hailey has tremendous support from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. The entire family was gathered together to celebrate the life of her grandfather, who had died three days before after a long illness.

During the celebration, Hailey and Sheri had an argument. Sheri was upset so went outside to cool off. She went to sit in her van that was parked in front of the house. A little while later, Danny went to check on Sheri and found her unconscious. Danny, with the help of his brother, tried CPR to no avail.

Sheri had a lifelong heart problem, but still it was quite a shock to everyone. Hailey’s grandmother called me and asked if I could come out to talk with Hailey. She added that Hailey blamed herself for her step-mother’s death because of the argument.

When I walked into the living room, Hailey was sitting on the couch. She looked so sad. Hailey had met me before as I was her grandfather’s hospice social worker. I told her why I was there and asked her if it was true that she blamed herself for her step-mother’s death. She stared at me with saddened eyes and slowly nodded yes.

I asked her about the number of conversations she thought she had with her step-mother. She admitted to thousands. I told her that each conversation is like a grain of sand. Over time, the pile will slowly grow larger. I cupped my hands and told her to imagine that sand pile and to throw as hard as she could, the grain of sand that represented the last conversation she had with Sheri. I then said, “Not much changes, does it?” Her eyes widened, her face lit up and she showed me the most amazing smile. She got it. She said she understood. She looked so relieved.

Children will always amaze me. They want to learn and will listen intently. They are like a sponge and will soak up what they need in order to carry on. It seems at times, that we, as adults, learn more from children, than visa-versa.


GRAIN OF SAND
　

They had argued shortly before.
It doesn’t really matter what about.
Their last conversation before she died.
She felt it was all her fault.

She had just lost her grandfather.
It had only been three days.
Now her step-mother so suddenly.
She must be the one to blame.

She didn’t have to say anything.
Her body language was shouting out loud.
Her face was drawn; she looked so sad.
A huge burden for one so young.

I told her about a pile of sand.
Each grain; one conversation with her step-mom.
Good or bad, adding one grain with each discussion;
there is never any notable change.

Her eyes widened; her face lit up.
A huge smile spread across her youthful face.
She got it; she understood.
A heavy weight lifted
by one tiny grain of sand.