EMOTIONS

I received an urgent phone call at 5:50 this morning from a dear friend, Camille, asking me for help. After six weeks of a very stressful hospital course, her husband, Howard, just wanted to go home. After two surgeries, he became septic. The infection was impacting his system to where his organs were shutting down. The only option was dialysis, which was not a viable choice for him. There was also a high risk that he would require life supports.

After talking things over with his doctors and family, Howard decided that he just wanted to go home. I had not been aware of these recent events and was shocked by the phone call this morning, but so grateful that she called. She had questions regarding the process for getting her husband home on hospice.

Howard was in a hospital two blocks from my work. Surprisingly, I had no scheduled visits this morning and was available to help her in any way she needed. Typically my schedule would be full, but I feel a higher power was involved in giving me time to be available to my friends.

I called Camille when I got to work and offered to come over if she needed, as I had all morning available for her and her family. She sounded so relieved when she said yes. She wanted me to be there when the discharge planner talked with them.

I had not met any of her family before as they all live out of the area. They all so graciously accepted me into their world. I was there when the discharge planner explained the process. I clarified things and gave thoughts of what they might expect once they got Howard home.

I spoke with Camille this evening. She said that Howard just got home. Her reaction humbled me as she thanked me for getting him home. From my perspective, I was only a small part of getting Howard home as I was just sharing what I knew. I had the easy part as I was just being a friend. The gift of giving and receiving are both given out of love. I thank them as much as they thanked me for allowing me in at such an intimate time of their lives. I am honored, humbled and in awe.

Camille taught me that it doesn’t matter how big or small, it is the act of giving to another that is huge, especially when it is given all in the name of love.


EMOTIONS
　

It is hard to put into words,
the emotions that I feel.
I am honored; humbled, in awe.
A mixture of feelings profound.

He foremost on their minds.
Wanting help in just getting him home.
Not knowing where to start;
not knowing what to do.

I needed to be there for them,
but also for me.
The strong desire to fix things;
wanting to take away their pain.

I couldn’t speed up the process.
I couldn’t make staff appear.
I could only give thoughts of what might be
once he did get home.

They asked so little of me.
Their appreciation abound.
Humbled by their reaction.
In awe of who they are.

Emotions