I'M OKAY

Eighty-four year old "Nora" suffers from colon cancer. She lives with her husband, "Jack" who is her primary caregiver. Jack is eighty-eight years old and is in good health, although hard of hearing. He is able to effectively care for his wife and their home.

Jack and Nora have been married for over fifty-seven years. They have two sons who are devoted to their parents. Both sons live close by and visit often. Nora and Jack had a daughter, who, at age nineteen, died of leukemia. They are both able to talk about their daughter and share wonderful stories about her short life.

Nora had been on hospice before, but was discharged six months ago because she was so stable. She was readmitted into hospice two months ago due to a decline. During my visit today, I was shocked at how weak she looked. I also was surprised to see her still in her pajamas as, with prior visits, she has always been dressed.

Nora is able to walk slowly using her walker, although is a bit wobbly on her feet and Jack needs to be nearby to help her if needed. Nora shared that yesterday she could not even get up out of the chair. Jack spoke about his worries when Nora can no longer get out of bed. He worries that he will not be able to help her.

I shared that, quite often, when the patient is bed bound, it is easier as one does not have to do much lifting. Knowing that they had the funds, I spoke about the option of hiring attendant care. Jack and Nora both think that right now they are okay, but will likely hire help in the future.

It is so sweet as both of them are worrying about the other. Jack's eyes lit up when he spoke about his concern for Nora. He softly rubbed her foot while he spoke. After fifty-seven years, their love is forever strong.


I'M OKAY

He is eighty-eight years old.
He is still able to get around.
He is the primary caregiver for his wife;
attentive to her every need.

His days are full caring for her,
cooking, gardening, managing the home.
He worries about their future
when she is bed bound and needs more help.

His eyes light up when he looks at her.
He wants to help her the best he can.
If you ask him how he is doing,
he replies, "I'm okay, but I worry about her."

She looks at him so gently.
She wishes she could do more.
These last few days have been hard on them.
She's getting weaker and slowing down.

She has no fears about dying.
Her strong faith gives her peace.
He is her biggest concern,
I'm okay, but I worry about him."

They've been relying on each other
for more than fifty-seven years.
It has always worked so beautifully,
so there's never been any doubt,
that both of them will continue to be,
perfectly okay.