TO LIVE

Forty year old "Jennie" was opened to hospice today. Jennie suffers from ovarian cancer which has spread to her spine. Her pain is excruciating and has left her bed bound this past week as it is difficult for her to walk. She feels if the pain could get under control, she would be able to get up and about and live her life.

Jennie lives with her husband, "Jimmy" and her sixteen year old son, "Shawn". Jimmy and Jennie have been married three years. The three of them are a very close family. Jennie is also very close to her sister, "Laura". Laura is Jennie's biggest advocate. Laura lives four blocks away, and the plan is to move Jennie to her sister's home because it is larger and can accommodate their mother, "Susan", more comfortably. Susan is from out of town, and the plan is for her to stay and care for Jennie for as long as needed because of everyone's work schedule. It is a perfect plan for all.

Shortly after the nurse and I walked in and introduced ourselves, Jennie proclaimed, "I want to live!" She is full of life with such a positive attitude. Some of it may be her own denial, but deep inside, I know she is aware that her disease is critical. She was diagnosed with cancer over ten years ago and, during that time, she has followed a holistic regiment, supported by her physician.

I was so impressed by her spunk and spirit because it was a strong reminder that each of us must live each day to the fullest as we never know when it will be our last.


TO LIVE


She thought hospice was about giving up.
She thought we would just let her die.
But after meeting and hearing about us,
she then knew we were all about life.

"I just want to live."
"I am not going to die."
"I've had this disease for ten years."
"I'm going to get on with my life."

The cancer has spread to her spine.
The pain makes it difficult to walk.
Her medication is vast and a constant need.
Sixty pills with marijuana; a daily regime.

I told her hospice is all about comfort care.
Hospice is about quality of life.
She will guide us through this journey.
Only she knows what is best for her.

I told her we are all living, until we die.
She is living just as much as the rest of us.
It isn't over until it is over,
when we have taken our final breath.

She is spiritual with strong beliefs,
so it's not the afterlife she fears.
She just wants to get on with her life.
"I want to live!"