TOOTHPASTE

"Nancy" was a wonderful woman who was suffering from leukemia. She came onto hospice in June, one month before her eighty-second birthday, so she planned a birthday party for herself. She wanted it to be her memorial and so invited everyone she knew. Her plan was to die shortly after the party.

Nancy's disease progressed very slowly. Each time I visited she would say, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired." Nancy had been active her entire life and was very impatient with her dependence and the slow decline of her disease. She had moved in with her daughter and had fears that she would overstay her welcome. Her family was very close and devoted to her so the chance of that happening was nil.

Nancy had a wonderful outlook on life. She was very practical and felt it was her time to go. She wanted to just get on with it. In September she bought this large tube of toothpaste and said that it would be the last tube. This poem is a result of the visit I did in early January after the Christmas holidays. Nancy died three months later. I was honored as the family printed this poem in her memorial.


TOOTHPASTE

She turned eighty-two last summer.
She knew she'd never see eighty-three
so she planned a final birthday party
inviting everyone she knew.

It would be her memorial.
Lots of hugs and goodbyes.
Then they could get on with their lives
and she would be ready to die.

Her disease is progressing slowly.
She's impatient with the pace.
She just wants it over,
"I bought my last tube of toothpaste."

Summer turns into Fall
as her toothpaste tube shrinks down.
Her patience is constantly challenged
as the disease dawdles on.

The tube is almost empty
as the Winter holidays roll around.
If you ask her about her Christmas
she'll disappointingly reply,
"I was given two more tubes of toothpaste."