WAVES

Grief counseling is an essential part of my job as a hospice social worker. Patients are not only grieving the loss of their health, but also the loss of not being able to do those things that had always given them joy and pleasure. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We each grieve differently. It is important to feel what you need to feel, know that it is okay and process those feelings in a way that works for you.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote about the five stages of grieving; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages sound so concise and structured. But grief is far from organized. One can be at acceptance one moment and the next moment; denial; then back to acceptance. It is an experience that is unique to each of us.

Grief often catches one off guard. I call it the "2x4" moment. A song on the radio, for example, can instantly trigger a memory back as if the loss had just occurred. This emotional moment can happen months or even years later. Grief comes like waves on a beach. It overflows and engulfs you only to recede again.


WAVES


Strolling slowly along the beach.
No sense of urgency or direction.
Embracing the tranquility.
Barefoot in the sand.

A sudden wave crashes to shore.
Stinging salt water.
Soaking your clothes.
Chilling your bones.

Total distraction.
Total discomfort.
Shock to the system.
Chaos all around.

Clothes begin to dry.
Emotions recede.
Sun permeates the soul.
Serenity returns.

The softness of the sand.
The smell of the ocean.
The sound of seagulls.
The warmth of the sun.

A sudden wave crashes to shore.
Stinging salt water.
Soaking your clothes.
Chilling your bones.

They call this
Grief.