WHAT THEY WANT

 WHAT THEY WANT 

Six weeks ago, we admitted “Mitch”, sixty-two years old, onto hospice.  Mitch suffered from stomach cancer.  His cancer had spread one year ago, but he was still independent with all of his needs.  Mitch was a bit resistant to come onto hospice as he still had hopes of recovering.  The hospice nurse and I informed Mitch that it was okay not to come onto hospice.   

 

Hospice is a comfort care model.  Medicare monitors each hospice.  If a patient wants to have certain tests or blood work, then hospice isn’t a good fit for them at that time.  In addition, their insurance won’t cover hospice and curative steps. 

 

We went out to admit Mitch to Palliative Care.  He had dramatically declined to where he was so weak and could only walk a few steps.  He had not eaten anything for about two weeks.  He and his wife wanted him to have blood work to find a diagnosis.  

 

ADDENDUM:  The following day, we again went out to admit Mitch, again to hospice.  He had declined more since the day before.  He could no longer walk at all.    I am glad they came back onto hospice as the support is so what he and his wife need.  Mitch died peacefully four days later.

 

 WHAT THEY WANT

 

I admitted him to hospice six weeks ago. 

He was initially resistant to our service, 

but chose to come onto our program 

hearing about all of the in-home support. 

 

He was diagnosed with cancer six years ago. 

He underwent chemotherapy and radiation 

which slowed the cancer down for a while, 

but then one year ago it spread to his bones. 

 

Anger can arise strongly as one grieves. 

It is often very appropriate and normal. 

He showed anger toward the hospice staff 

along with an occasional grunt to his wife. 

 

We went out today to admit him to our Palliative program. 

I was shocked to see his dramatic decline. 

He has not eaten for one week as he is nauseas. 

He is so weak, he can only walk a few feet. 

 

They both spoke of wanting to do a blood test 

to find out what the diagnosis truly is. 

He is not strong enough for any treatment. 

He is aware, as said today, 

                    ‘I just want this to be over!” 

 

He is making decisions based on what  

he believes that she wants him to do. 

While she is focused on what 

she so strongly believes what he wants. 

 

It is so obvious to all that his time is short. 

There is no further treatment available for him. 

Deep inside they both likely know the truth, 

but then denial is a powerful coping tool. 

 

I would not be at all surprised,  

to see them both on the same page; 

as what he wants; she wants as well. 

I so wish they each become aware 

and graciously follow what they both want.