I went out to admit “Duane” to our Palliative Care program. Duane suffers from lung cancer that has metastasized to his brain. Duane has no family or children. He has a close friend, who is “My family”, living out of state. Due to weakness, Duane spends most days in his bed. His wheelchair is nearby in order for him to get around.
Wayne has a caregiver who comes four hours each morning to help him. I spoke with the caregiver before I drove over to Duane’s apartment. The caregiver, “Jerry”, shared that Duane was a hoarder. Jerry had a need to “prepare” me for my visit.
One can stereotype another without even talking to that person. Who any of us truly are, comes from our heart and our soul. Duane gets A’s with all of that.
CAMOUFLAGE
He lives in a one-bedroom apartment.
It is cluttered with belongings all around.
From the front door to the rear,
you follow the narrow path to his bedroom.
Due to weakness, he spends most days in bed.
Walking into his bedroom to meet him,
I was welcomed by his beautiful smile;
along with an appreciative ‘Welcome”.
His cancer has spread to his lungs.
He gets short of breath so easily.
He is receiving weekly radiation treatments.
Still hoping to be cured.
He so welcomed a volunteer to come weekly
As he is isolated and alone most of the time.
When asked about his spirituality, he responded with,
“I believe all of the above.”
When I asked, “How can our Palliative Care team help you?”,
he started to cry saying, “Help me stop crying”.
I so validated his emotions; his grief; his loss of health;
“I would worry if you felt nothing at all”.
I saw a truly wonderful human being
whose heart was as big as his soul.
It so often can be missed by others
as is camouflaged by deep seeded beliefs.
Seeing his surroundings; his frailty; his low income;
one may stereotype it was his choice; his due shortcomings.
So many might miss his virtue; his insight;
his graciousness of receiving much needed support.
What can be more powerful than truth; than certain facts?
Camouflage.
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