The hospice nurse and I went out to admit “Vicki” to our hospice program. Reading her medical records, she did qualify for our program. Vicki has been drinking for decades which has so strongly impacted her health. She has been in a recent decline and was hoping to come onto hospice for one month to build her strength, her appetite, her cognition, to help her “get better”.
We explained hospice philosophy of comfort care and qualify of life. Understandably, she was not in a place to go that route. She appeared so frail due to extreme weakness. She was so thin and had trouble walking due to swelling in her feet. She did qualify for hospice, but she so strongly was hoping we could give her more independent days.
Denial and acceptance are both a big part of the grieving process. She flipped back and forth between them. My heart went out to her, as I so wished we could have given her what she so powerfully needed. I wish her peace.
WHAT SHE WANTS
She is only
forty-two years old.
She has been
drinking since she was a teen.
Her health
has been impacted so deeply
with fluid
retention and now Liver Disease.
Her doctor
warned her about her drinking.
“If you
don’t stop, you will die”.
She next
stayed sober for fifteen months.
But then,
three months ago, she didn’t.
She is now
so wobbly on her feet
due to
increased weakness.
She gets
short of breath with any exertion.
Her appetite
is so very “up and down”.
She wanted
to go onto hospice for just one month;
for
strength; for weight gain; for stronger cognition.
She has been
on a liver transplant list,
but may not
qualify due to her recent decline.
She has so
many moments wanting back her normal,
but then,
reality and truth are hard to avoid.
Wanting a
liver transplant and hospice don’t mix.
Tearfully,
she stated, “I just cannot live this way”.
She was
hoping that hospice would visit her daily;
checking
vital signs, taking blood work.
We are comfort
care and quality of life.
Two major
offerings and support;
but, for
now,
not what she wants.
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