LIFT ME UP

Spirituality surrounds me often, as I have very strong spiritual beliefs.  As a Social Worker, I am amazingly supported by my beliefs. I have strong beliefs about afterlife knowing so deeply inside that those who have died before me, are still nearby.  I communicate to them often for guidance while also thanking them for always being there to support me.  

I also feel that those family and friends here with me still on Earth, also support me in an amazingly tremendous way.  It is all of them whom I reach out to for support.  I am so raised up by all of them.  I am never alone in this life. I feel the work that I do here, is so enhanced by the support of so many.  I could never do this work totally alone. 

When the hospice nurse and I walked into the patient’s home, she was sitting on her couch.  The nurse, her daughter and I were sitting nearby in kitchen chairs facing her.  She started to cry while talking about her son who died of alcohol abuse about 18 months ago.  She blamed herself for his addiction.  I quietly moved my chair closer to her, while leaning in to heartfully listen to her.  It was then that I let go and trusted that those in my aura will guide me.  I have never been let down.  They all so raise me up more than I ever could do on my own.  True love are those who unconditionally love you and want what’s best to come your way.  I am so blessed and thank all of my people each and every day. 

LIFT ME UP 

 

Spirituality is a strong support for me.

Upon meeting a patient or family,

I emotionally let go and so frequently am guided

to say the perfect words; to be in the moment.

 

I connect to those on the other side.

Those whom I have loved and sadly lost.

I am also tremendously supported by those still here.

It is all who so deeply lift me up. 

 

She’s been in a recent, rapid decline.

Her lung disease is now winning over her.

She gets short of breath with any activity

She has told her family, “I am done”.

 

She has been depressed a little over a year as

her eldest son died from alcohol abuse.

She states, “I wish I could do things over”,

while blaming herself for his addiction.

 

I pulled my chair over to where she was sitting.

I let go to allow my spiritual words to simply flow.

I counseled on grief and loss while

listening to all she had to say.

 

Later, as I was leaving, her daughter said to me,

“My mother needed your support.

You gave her exactly what she needed.

You were meant to be here.

                         Thank you.”

 

114 MILES

I am the Admission Social Worker at my hospice.  I, so then, begin my day in the office in order to pick up the nurses and my paperwork to bring with me to do the admission.  Every three months we have a staff meeting on a Wednesday that starts at 8:30am.  Last night before I left the office, the Admitting Clerk gave me an admission packet as there was a 10AM admission 27 miles away.  Our staff meeting is in a building about two miles away from our office.  My plan was to leave before the meeting ended to meet up with the patient and family. 

Due to multiple mix-ups, I put on multiple miles today.  Our Admitting Department is a wonderful group of folks who make my job so easy.  They hand me the packet and then will tell me when and where there is an admission and I go.  So simple.   It was hard driving so many miles, but then I look at the humor; as that is the best way I know how to cope.

114 MILES

 

Before I left work yesterday, I was notified

“You have a 10AM admission in the morning”.

I was given the admission packet at that time

in order to leave before tomorrow’s staff meeting ended.

 

I drove 27 miles to the mobile home park.

I then texted the nurse Lilian, “What’s your ETA?”

She replied back, “The admission was changed to 12:30pm.

                         I am still at the staff meeting”.

 

I drove back to the office and informed Lilian,

“The patient lives in a mobile home park.

There are parking spots nearby for us to use.

                         It is all very convenient.”

 

As I pulled into the parking spot for the second time,

Lilian texted me, “It’s not a mobile home, but a house.”

I had the patient’s old address on my face sheet.

She moved three years ago and now lives 8 miles away.

 

Arriving twenty minutes late, I walked into the home.

Lilian had already assessed the patient.

In addition, she had spoken with our Medical Director.

“The patient does not meet hospice criteria.”

 

I have driven 114 miles today.

So much more than my typical day.

But then, I also realize I’ve had a great day as

no one is terminal and on hospice in my home.

 

HOW WE COPE

We are all individuals and cope so uniquely when facing a difficult situation.  I believe our search for what gives us comfort begins at childhood.  Life does throw a curve ball now and then to all of us.  How we cope is so individual; so unique.  

It is a blessing to find what works and to be able to utilize that support as needed.  When this patient’s husband told me that he was still doing what he loved, it gave me hope that it can be an option for any of us who so choose what helps them enjoy their life.  My work so gives me peace and comfort.  Each day, I receive a thousand-fold of what I give.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  I am so blessed.

HOW WE COPE 

 

Finding how to cope, begins with childhood.

When experiencing a difficult time,

we all look for ways to find comfort;

to find resolution; to find some relief.

 

As a hospice social worker,

I meet so many who are grieving.

A large part of my role and support

is to counsel on grief and the emotions of loss.

 

I will ask, “What helps you cope?”

I often hear some customary answers

such as “I exercise; I pray;

                    I talk to my best girlfriend.”

 

She and her husband are 91 years old.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s years ago.

She is now in a steep decline;

not knowing family; forgetting how to eat.

 

When I spoke with him about her downturn;

his first words were “I am so sad.

We will be married 70 years next month.

It was to be a special day to celebrate”.

 

When I asked him about how he copes,

his answer surprised me and gave me hope.

“I am a plumber and am still working.

It gives me joy; it gives me comfort”.

 

I can so relate to what he told me.

I too, am still doing a job that I totally enjoy.

Even though I am the oldest one at hospice,

I am doing what I so truly love.

And yes, it gives me joy; it gives me comfort.

 

THERE IS NO ANSWER

Quite often, when doing hospice work, we get asked questions about how much time does the patient have.  We have no answer as it is such a unique moment for us all.  During my hospice experience, I hear so many amazing stories about the timing of a person’s death.  I truly believe we all know when it is the time to let go; as families so frequently share these fascinating stories. 

I met “Matt” about one week ago.  I also met “Gene” three days ago.  Both men were active and engaging.  Yes, they needed help with many of their activities of daily living, but had personalities so full of life.   Both did not fear death based on their spiritual beliefs.  If they did, by chance, ask me about how much time they had left, I would have said, “There is truly no answer.  You will let go when the time is right for you.”

I cannot prove my beliefs, but no one can disprove it either.  We all believe what is right for us to believe.  One’s spiritual beliefs gives them comfort, whatever that belief may be.  I so very strongly believe that both of these men left at the perfect time for them to do so.   That thought, too, gives me much comfort.

THERE IS NO ANSWER 

 

We often get asked by patients,

“When will it be my time to go?”

Or, from families wanting to know,

“How much longer does he have?”

 

They are wanting an exact time or date,

but there is no precise answer anyone can give.

They want to be prepared; to be ready.

Quite often, we are just as surprised as they are.

 

I met him about one week ago.

He has outlived his doctor’s expectations.

His wisdom amazed and touched my heart.

He was sitting up in his recliner, full of life.

 

He too, was full of life and joy.

He was independent one week ago.

Now he is definitely much weaker,

but still embracing life and so engaging.

 

I met both of these men this past week.

If asked, I would guess many weeks left for sure.

I was so surprised this morning to hear,

both have died over the weekend.

 

I so believe, both let go at their exact time to do so.

They spiritually were guided to know when to leave.

I feel that their work here on Earth was likely complete.

Then again, there truly is

                                   no answer.